Breaking Down Walls
by Mrs.Jane
Summary: 16 year old Payten Grace Amelia Shepherd, Daughter of Derek Shepherd and Addison Montgomery Shepherd has some problems finding herself through adolesence. Story follows the life of troubled teen. Drug/Alcohol abuse, Underage Sex not explicit. Rating- T/M... Addek relationship and Amelia and Payton friendship. Please enjoy- R&R!
1. The rise

**Hey guys and gals, so this is a re-upload for the first, second and third chapters. I made all three of the first chapters i wrote fairly small so i decided to combine the three into one and re-upload it! Nothing changes, i just wanted to fix some grammatical errors aswell and thought that this way might be easier. I'm also thinking of doing this with the following chapters but we'll see. If you are new to this story, welcome. I hope you enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer- Only own my O.C :(**

Her long tinged red hair fell short on her shoulders as her deep blue eyes stared blankly out the window, still wet from the tears that had just stopped flowing. She allowed herself to slowly let her eyes shut; each blink falling deeper into slumber.

"She's only sixteen Derek! Sixteen!" Addison said just above a whisper not to wake the sleeping teenager in the back. She leaned back into her seat and let out a deep sigh. "I don't know what to do anymore, what do we do?"

Derek looked up from the road to check the rearview mirror. There she was his baby, his baby girl. Payten had always been a daddy's girl, Although she loved her mother she had always had a more intimate and loving connection with her father and everybody knew it. "I don't know Addie, maybe we should call Amelia…."

A scoff came from the passenger's seat as Addison shut down the option of calling her sister-in-law for help with their rebellious daughter. "Are you serious Derek? Amelia can't even help herself, how do you expect her to help our child that refuses to admit she even has a problem?"

Derek let out a slow but long breath as he entered the driveway of his very large Seattle home. Addison had always wanted the finer things in life and their house was no exception, they had starting building it around 6 months after Addison had followed him back to Seattle. Of course, it had been a long ride to get back to the point where they were in their relationship right now but everything had worked out for the best. kind of.

Payten Grace Amelia Shepherd was the stunning 16-year-old version of her mother, She was skinny and tall with hair that fell to her shoulder blades. She had inherited Addison's hair color and body shape but that was about it. Her eyes were identical to her fathers along with her personality. She was easy going, sensitive and always eager to explore her surroundings. She loved the outdoors and she and Derek would go fishing every Sunday, a tradition they had started when she was only 4 years old. But as she grew older Sundays became every second week then every third it had eventually lost meaning to the girl as she was never home from Friday afternoon until late Sunday night.

"Addison, look at her. She is black out drunk, she reeks of cigarettes and dope. She has vomit in her hair and she barely made it to the car, who knows where she would've ended up tonight if the police hadn't shut that party down but I know that. Actually, I'm positive it wouldn't be anywhere remotely safe for a high, drunk 16-year-old girl!... I'm calling Amelia tomorrow because I haven't touched any type of drug outside of a hospital in my entire life and I know you haven't either… She needs help. The kind we can't give her Addie," Addison nodded in agreement after hearing her husband's rant taking one of his hands into her own.

"You're right Der… I just Ahh... you're right," she let out defeated.

She woke up and instantly wished she didn't. Her head was pounding and it felt like she could hear it in her ears, she scanned the room and her stomach instantly dropped. How did she get home?

"Shit," she muttered under her breath.

"Shit...shit...shit...shit!" she said throwing the covers off herself and running over to the denim country road bag sitting on the ground by her closet. She had taken the bag to the party with her so she could leave her clothes and drinks in it until the end of the night. She also left one very important thing in it that she hoped; no prayed was still there. She unzipped the bag in a matter of seconds and scanned through the contents, "Where is it… Where is it?!" she huffed and groaned as she couldn't find the small bag that contained the remains of her pills.

"Are you looking for something?"

She jumped at the sound of her aunty's voice suddenly filling the room, She could feel her heart beating faster in an instant.

"No, I was just uhh I was looking for my phone charger. Is mom…"

She was cut off instantly by Amelia,

"No, your mom and dad got paged to the hospital. They just wanted me to stop in and check that you were alright; Y'know not too hungover," Amelia smirked at her niece.

Payten sighed in relief knowing she could avoid them for just a few more hours was definitely reassuring she had to get her story straight. They were gonna be so pissed, She was snapped out of her thoughts when Amelia spoke again.

"So, how was your night?"

She could tell that her Aunty knew exactly how her night was, that her parents picked her up from the party she was probably incredibly wasted and they had told her all of this so she could give her the talk of life. Payten rolled her eyes before answering her well knowing Aunty.

"Do you really wanna know how it was or do you wanna go back and tell them how I said it was the biggest mistake of my life and that I'm so sorry and will never do it again?" she said in a mock apology.

Her Aunty let out a soft chuckle before walking over and sitting at the head of her bed, She patted the space next to her and Payten glared at her questioning whether she was being played or not before standing and making her way over to take the spot next to Amelia.

"Listen, kiddo because I'm only gonna say this once" Payten could hear the sudden seriousness in her Aunt's voice and it gave her a bit of a fright.

"I do, know how your night went. Not because your parents told me, but because I have had many many like it before. When I was your age I overdosed and nearly died; if it wasn't for your dad I probably would've. I know that feeling you get like it's just you, like nothing else matters in the world, like there is nobody else, but that will only last so long before you need another hit. Before you need to feel it deeper. Trust me I know that feeling. That feeling was my best friend for years," Amelia stopped speaking and dug into her pocket before pulling out the small bag of pills and holding it up for Payten to see "But this, this is not a good friend to have Payten, This ruins lives."

Tears started to roll down cream colored cheeks as Payten sniffed and straighten back up. Although she was a lot like Derek she was a Montgomery as well and was always told to show no weakness. Crying was a sign of that. She coughed and took a deep breath before she spoke. "I know it's not… I know that but I just.. I need it now, I didn't before but it feels like I do now that I need to have it and then everything is okay everything is normal again when I get that rush…"

Amelia let out a sigh of relief and pulled her niece into a tight embrace, Payten could feel tear drops falling onto her shoulder and felt instant regret. She had hurt her aunt, she had never ever seen her cry before in her whole life. Her aunt Amelia was the strongest, bravest person she had ever met and she had never seen her cry.

Amelia pulled back a moment later and looked directly into Payten's eyes.

"How did it start?"

Payten considered answering her Aunts question but immediately sided against it getting off the bed. She wiped her face of any tear residue she might've missed "I'm not talking about this with you," she said with no hint of remorse for the woman trying to help her.

Amelia was surprised with the sudden change in her niece's behavior, almost like a switch. "Payten," she tried again.

"Can you leave now?" Payten snapped.

She could see the anger and hurt in the eyes beneath Amelia's furrowed brows; she watched her stand up from her position on the bed and make her way toward the exit of Payten's room.

"This conversation isn't over," Amelia said as she got closer to the girl leaning against the door. Payten rolled her eyes at that remark and shut the door with force as soon as Amelia had left.

That was close she thought, she couldn't let anybody in. She would repeat every word to her mom and dad she couldn't really trust her could she? No way will she let herself slip like that again. Payten walked back to her closet and searched through the heap of clothes that had piled up outside its doors in search for the khaki jacket she had worn to the party the night before. Once she found it she emptied its pockets in search for her I-phone, All that she found was a piece of gum, a bottle cap and a black and red lighter. She let out a huff in frustration and then realized it must have been confiscated once she got home last night.

This wasn't the first time Payten had gotten in trouble; actually, when she thought about it, it had almost become a routine. She made her way out of her bedroom and down the long hallway until she reached her parent's den. She cracked the door open slowly and snuck inside. Again this wasn't the first time she had taken her phone out of its "hiding spot" she quickly found where her mother had intended to conceal it after the first or second time it had been confiscated.

She turned it on and it buzzed about 12 times within the minute, she had 5 missed calls from her parents and 2 from her aunt. Scrolling through her texts there was one from her friend, Jess asking "how much shit are you in?" Payten tapped back a quick reply "Who cares? Round two on Friday, right?" No matter how much trouble she was in, even if they tried to ground her they weren't even home enough to make sure that she always was.

There were a couple other messages asking if she was alright and if her hard-core parents hadn't killed her. The one that stood out the most to Payten and the most significant to her was a text sent by her boyfriend Josh. He had asked if she was busy tonight and of course she said she wasn't.

It was 1.47pm and Payten was getting ready to meet up with Josh and his two friends Dom and Chris. Josh was two years older than Payten. They had met at a party about 6 or 7 weeks ago; he had his own car and everything. Payten had planned to be picked up around 2. That was of course until she heard the front door being unlocked and a moment later hearing the sound of heels walking on wood. Her mother was home.

She quickly threw on her black tank top, matching her black jeans and maroon converse chucks. She pulled her red hair into a high ponytail that sat at the top of her head and tied a rain jacket around her waist just in case. She did live in Seattle after all. Not long after, she heard a loud knock on her door and answered with an irritated "Come in,"

Her mother opened the door and noticed the mess that spread across the floor and all over the bed. She then saw her daughter that was sitting at the end of the bed dressed like she was ready to go out somewhere which made her chuckle softly. A confused look was plastered on Payten's face when she watched her mother laughing at what? At her?

"What's so funny?" Payten spat out.

The bitterness in her voice gave Addison abit of a shock but she stood her ground and her expression showed that she was seriously angry.

"Why are you dressed like that? Do you actually think you are leaving this house?" Addison said grinning.

"What would you rather me wear mother? A slutty skirt and ugly fucking grandma blazer like you?" This made Addison seriously mad and Payten could see it from her instant reaction.

"You are grounded, you are not leaving this house for 2 weeks! You will not talk to anybody, no friends, no parties, no drinking, no drugs and no damned cigarettes! Do not think that you can do whatever you damn well please and not get punished!"

Payten wasn't paying much to what her mother had said and simply shrugged "Are you done?" she asked. She looked over at the alarm clock on her bedside table that displayed 1.54 pm, she was still going to leave whether Addison liked it or not.

"Clean your room," Addison said trying to keep her cool before turning around and slamming the door.

Payten took out her phone to send a quick text to Josh, "I'll meet you at the end of the road, mom's home so don't come up the drive xx,"

A few minutes later she heard the shower down the hall turn on. She grabbed her wallet off the top of her drawer and tip-toed down the hall and down the stairs until she reached the front door before slipping outside.

Josh was waiting like she had told him at the end of her road. Leaning against his black Toyota Corolla with a cigarette in his mouth. As she reached him he took the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled a large cloud of smoke before bending down to give her a long passionate kiss. After a minute, she dropped back down to her normal height and grabbed the ciggie from Josh's hand with a wink. She jumped in the passenger's seat as they set off for the local high school bleachers.

The school was empty and Josh's friend Chris had brought his portable speaker. As the music was playing; the group of four were talking, smoking and laughing. They had been there for a few hours before Chris pulled a bag of weed out of his jean pocket and handed it to Dom. Dom opened a small leather brown bag and pulled out papers to roll the weed with and also a dark blue lighter. They were all sharing and passing around the joint until Payten remembered that her aunty had her bag of Oxycodone...shit.

"Hey babe," Payten made a puppy dog face with her glassy eyes looking up at her boyfriend. Josh looked down at the red haired sitting in between his legs he chuckled at her impression of a child's begging voice.

Kissing her forehead, "Yesss," he said mocking the tone she had just used.

"Can you pretty please get me some more oxy?" Josh pulled his head back and pretended like he was thinking about it.

"Hmm. It'll cost you," he said with a wink slowly stroking his hand up and down her thigh.

Payten jumped up from her position between Josh's legs and sat face to face on his lap planting a kiss on his cheek, then jaw then neck, whispering a small "Please," in between each kiss. Her teasing game was interrupted when the guys sparked up a small pipe with white powder at the bottom.

"I'll bring you some tomorrow babe," Josh said tapping Payten's rounded ass as she got off his lap to have her hit.

It hit her hard. She started to hear her heartbeat in her ears, the rush plastered a smile on her face. Dom passed her the last of the bagged powder so that she could 'survive' until she can get some more oxy sometime tomorrow.

Payten could feel her phone buzzing in her back pocket as she munched back a cheeseburger. It was nearly 10 o'clock and she had already decided if she was going to be late home, she might aswell be really late.

As soon as Addison got out of the shower she noticed the silence that rang throughout the house. There had never been a time where Payten wasn't booming her music throughout the house. Payten had been given her speakers for Christmas and everyday before school, after school, night or day, She would be using them. Addison walked into her room and quickly got dressed before checking the bottom draw of her dresser for Payten's phone, it was gone.

She let out a groan in frustration and walked into Payten's room just in case the girl was asleep. The room was empty and Addison immediately called her husband. Derek answered his phone within three rings,

"Paytens gone Derek, I told her that she was grounded and she couldn't leave and now she's gone," Derek could sense the irritation in his wife's voice but could also hear the worry.

"I'm on my way home" He replied calmly.

It had been 9 hours since Payten snuck out of her house and off with her friends. As she approached the front door, her heart rate increased. She began to feel a little nervous but then she remembered the small bag that she had in her pocket and felt reassured. She reminded herself that she'll be fine again soon. She opened the door and brazenly walked inside,

"Hi," she called out casually walking straight past her parents sitting at the kitchen table and into the lounge. She came to a standstill when she felt a firm grip on her shoulder, her heart rate increased as she prepared herself for what was about to happen.

She spun around to see her dad give her a stern look at this she rolled her eyes, She had to stop caring about what they thought of her. She needed to control her emotions, they can't tell her what to do? They couldn't control her she had to take care of herself from the get go they don't care about her. "Don't touch me!" Payten yelled with disgust in her eyes.

This gave Derek a fright and he drew his hand back in surprise. "Payten, I.." he stared at her with confusion on his face, that of course, quickly changed to angry, "Who the hell do you think you are talking too?" Addison had heard the commotion coming from the living room and was by his side in a second.

"Just shut up! Just shut up!" Payten said before slowly backing up from her parents. It felt like they were trying to trap her. Her heart was doing it again, rapidly beating. Her hands were sweaty, it became difficult to breathe. Addison noticed it before Derek, she walked up to Payten ignoring the incessant yelling. She put a finger beneath her daughter's chin waiting for her eyes to meet her own; when they didn't and became skittish she asked the question she already knew the answer, "You're high aren't you?" A sudden loud laugh came from the girl's mouth.

"Well, you're a fucking genius aren't you," the girl said bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

It was 3.47am, she knew because the bright red numbers on the alarm clock filled the whole room and glistened from the windows. She let out a long sigh before using her elbows to prop herself against the headboard of the bed. She ran her thin fingers through her wavy red hair taming the ruffled mess. She couldn't sleep knowing what was going on with her only daughter, her mind was going too fast to sleep thinking about every medical and psychological problem that could be wrong; which made it impossible to stay calm. Before her mind took total control of her, she heard a sleepy mutter from the other side of the bed.

"Go back to sleep, Addie," Derek said pulling his pillow back under his head.

"I can't go to work tomorrow, I have to call Richard," Addison said turning the light on the bedside table on and standing to walk to the drawer across from the bed.

Derek swiftly rolled over and grabbed her wrist gently pulling her back down to the bed. "Addison, it can wait for the morning c'mon. Come here" he patted her spot next to him on the bed and she hesitantly took it.

"She's my baby Derek," Addison whispered fighting back obvious tears. Derek kissed and smoothed the top of her head while in the spooning position he whispered reassuring words into his wife's ear until she eventually fell into a deep sleep.

She woke and instantaneously realized it wasn't by her alarm clock. She quickly eyed the room to realize it was just her, she heard a banging noise coming from downstairs. Addison was annoyed to be woken so soon from her sleep. Derek must've been paged to the hospital, her hunch was confirmed as her eyes found a post-it note stuck to the mirror of her dresser. It read,

"Good morning beautiful, Richard has approved your "sick" leave for the day and I should be home by 9 tonight. Have a good day, love you,"

The simple message brought a smile to her face immediately. How did he do that? She thought to herself; he still managed to send a rush of butterflies to her stomach after so many years with only a few sentences. She was snapped back into reality when she heard the same noise that woke her a few minutes ago.

She cautiously wandered from her room and down the stairs in search for the irritatingly loud banging noise. She froze in her tracks when she reached the kitchen. Standing in the doorway as she watched her daughter up on the bench reaching to the top cabinets with two large pots in her hands. She cleared her throat and watched the girl nearly fall off the bench in fright; this made her laugh slightly only to receive a glare in return.

"What do you think you're doing?" Addison said taking a few more steps into the kitchen still watching her daughter's movements.

Payten gave a simple shrug "I'm soo hungry, why do we never have any fuckin food," she said practically throwing the pots back into the cabinet and jumping from the bench back to the tiled ground of the kitchen.

Addison was taken aback by the disgusting use of words Payten had chosen. "Do you plan on doing any shopping ever?" Payten said eyeing her mother as she stood arms crossed and squinty-eyed. Payten could tell her mother was distinctly mad. She rolled her eyes as she walked over to grab the landline off the hook. Before she had the chance to dial any numbers the phone was snatched from her hands.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, You're grounded remember?" Addison snapped.

Payten tried to grab the phone back from her mother only to be disappointed when her mother held it above her head, Addison's height having a clear advantage. "I'm starving, I want pizza. Are you refusing to feed me? Because that is illegal ya know?"

Addison let out a scoff "Since when do you care about the law? Drugs are illegal, as well as underage drinking and who knows what other things you get up too when I and your father aren't around,"

Payten looked at her mother clearly irritated and uninterested in what she was saying "I. Am. Hungry," she insisted.

"Well, you're not eating rubbish, you have enough of that in your system at the moment. We will go shopping in half an hour; go get yourself ready. Fast," She said watching her daughter drag her feet out of the room and up the stairs.

It took her about 30 minutes to get ready, she pulled on some black leggings and a gray v-cut shirt before quickly sneaking into her mother's room and grabbing her navy blue cardigan. She pulled the brush through her hair applied a bit of foundation, bronzer, and mascara. Finally, she slipped on her black converse chucks before heading back downstairs. 10 minutes had passed as she patiently waited for her mother to return. Addison came downstairs wearing her usual attire of high heels, an elegant dress, and handbag.

"I thought you said thirty minutes?" Payten said tapping her foot on the tiles.

Addison rolled her eyes and walked out the door before yelling "Hurry up," back to her daughter.

It was a silent ride to the grocery store and Payten was bouncing her leg the whole way there, slightly tapping the bottom of the glove box with each kick.

"Can you stop that please," Addison begged still focusing on the road. When Payten started to do it louder it started to piss her off "Seriously? Are you five years old?" She said pulling her left leg back to the floor.

Payten immediately swatted Addison's hand "Don't touch me," She glared up at her mom, "Why are you even home?" She said turning to make brief eye contact with Addison

"Because you need 24-hour supervision until we can trust you to be alone and not do anything stupid and reckless such as drugs" Addison explained as they pulled into the supermarket parking lot.

Payten let out a scoff, "Whenever, not like you've ever supervised me before," she said quickly undoing her belt, jumping from the Jeep and practically running toward the door.

Addison took a deep breath before undoing her own belt and jumping out of the car, locking it up and heading to meet her daughter at the entrance. As she got closer she could see the impatient girl waving her over to hurry up. "Why are you so eager to do grocery shopping," she said finally catching up and walking through the store grabbing a shopping basket,

"Because I'm freakin starving," the Mini-Addison said grabbing a 6 pack of red bull and putting it in the basket. Addison shook her head profusely

"No caffeine," she said taking them out and placing it back on the shelf.

The girl's jaw dropped and look as though she was speechless "Since when?!" the girl spat,

Addison continued to walk down the aisle "Since I said so Payten," she stopped and turned around when she realised Payten hadn't moved "We haven't talked about it yet but we have new rules, wait until tonight and you can hear the rest of them,"

Payten was sending death glares as she spun on her heel and headed in the opposite direction. New rules my ass she thought before grabbing a separate basket. If her mother wanted to try and control what she ate; she would do her own shopping. She loaded her shopping basket with a bunch of potato chips, chocolate bars, fizzy drinks and also a bit of fruit to make a fruit salad. as well as greens to make a salad for school lunches. As much as she loved to binge on junk food, her body image was very important to her; especially at this age.

It had been about 20 minutes since she and Payten had split up. Addison wandered up and down the aisles aimlessly until she saw the top of Payten's redhead at the back of the dairy aisle. She couldn't see from afar but as she got closer she realized that she was talking to someone, A boy.

She approached slowly and gave Payten a fright when she heard her mother's voice. "Payten, who's your friend?" she said trying her best to fake a smile.

The boy in front of her was obviously older than Payten, he had green eyes and short light brown curly hair he dressed almost like a surfer with board shorts and a singlet. He definitely wasn't ugly and she could see why her daughter might've been interested in him. He was though far too old for her, she was only a little girl in her eyes.

"Mom this is my friend Josh," she introduced the two hesitantly,

"Pleasure to meet you Mrs..," Addison accepted the hand that was offered by Josh and shook it steadily. Studying the young boy she could see a spark in his eye and call it, "mother's instinct" but knew that this boy wasn't just a friend and it made her blood run cold.

" Shepherd, say goodbye Payten it's time to go," She said taking a few steps back and observing the two. They both went in for a quick hug and Josh whispered something in her. Addison couldn't quite comprehend what he had said to her and she couldn't look too obvious that she was trying to hear. They said their goodbyes and Addison and Payten made their way to the checkout.

"He's a bit old for you don't you think?" Addison said casually.

"To old to be my friend?" Payten suspiciously questioned her mother.

"Yeah well, it might not be such a good idea mixing with an older crowd at the moment" Addison suggested placing her basket of groceries on the checkout.

Payten rolled her eyes at her mother advice "He's like 3 years older or whatever. it's no biggie," she watched her mother silently judge as she slammed her own basket down as well. "Keys!" she yelled with her hand out toward her mom,

Addison's face blushed as most of the people standing in the other checkout lines were watching the scene unfold "Payten," Addison let out and embarrassed mumble before reaching into her handbag and giving her the keys. "Wait in the car," She muttered angrily wanting to strangle her for behaving like such a brat in the middle of the store.

"Gladly!" Payten sarcastically taunted.

The car ride home was mainly filled with angry words from Addison and bitter back chat from Payten. As they pulled into their long driveway the first thing Payten realized was the car that was already parked up. Her heart started to beat faster the closer they approached the house, her dad was home.

Although she managed to somehow block the emotions she had towards her mother out she somehow couldn't do that to Derek. He was her hero, and he was the only one she wouldn't be able to detach herself from, however hard she tried. She cared about what he thought of her and knew he would be deeply disappointed. She would, however, have to push the thoughts to the back of her cloudy mind for the time being, while she waited for all their anger to be blasted at her.

As the door cracked open she heard not only one but two voices coming from the lounge. She tried to head straight to her room but was diverted when Addison grabbed her arm.

"Not so fast chops, lounge now," she said breaking her fake humor becoming almost too serious but Payten, of course, shrugged it off.

As Payten rounded the corner entering the lounge, the voices immediately hushed and she saw the sympathetic faces of her dad and aunt Amelia.

"Payten, take a seat next to your aunt," Addison suggested seriously.

For the first time all day, she listened to Addison noticing the gravity of the situation. But then she remembered. She realized what she had with her; the secret weapon she could fight with. Josh had kept his promise and she would keep hers as soon as she could get to him that was. She had more oxy. She would be okay again, this was only temporary she reminded herself. She could sit through this and handle it because she could have that rush again when it was done. The storm before the calm? The calm before the storm was a lie. Not long now.

"Payten," she heard in a low whisper that made her snap back into reality. "Things are about to change," Her dad sternly said as he locked his eyes onto hers.


	2. New set of rules

**So here is updated chapters 3, 4 and 5. I hope you enjoy, review if you want to leave any positive/negative feedback! Will update following chapters soon.**

 **Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

Rule number one: No electronics unless it's for a real emergency or to keep us updated on where you are at all times.

Rule number two: No parties, no drinking and absolutely no drugs.

Rule number three: New curfew. You must be home by 10 every night. You also must let us know where you are going and who you are with.

Rule number four: No caffeine or anything addictive, especially cigarettes.

Rule number five: You must see your shrink once a week.

Rule number six: No friends over without someone being home.

Rule number seven: We can search your room at any time if need be.

Rule number eight: No sneaking of the house.

Rule number nine: You must stay with Amelia every Saturday night.

Rule number ten: You must come to the hospital every Monday for a routine drug test.

It had been 3 days since the new rules were set; only 3 days. She had spent a majority of her time in her room, finishing off the small bag of oxy Josh had kindly given her. However, her supply had started to get dangerously low and she desperately needed to top up before she ran out completely.

She stood up from her well-used spot on the bed and immediately got head rush and plopped back down. She held a hand to her head and tried again this time succeeding and wondering from her room into the hall. She held her breath and listened for any sign of occupancy in the house when she didn't hear anything, she let out a sigh of relief and walked straight into her mother's room. To rediscover her phone being in the same place her mother had always hidden it from her.

Payten smirked as she held the on button at the top of the phone and watched the bitten white apple appear on the screen. She waited patiently for all her texts to come through and within minutes her inbox was full. She skipped the unimportant ones and searched for Josh's name; she didn't read his message instead she tapped the call signal next to his name. It rang a couple times before it was picked up on the other end,

"Hey, baby, where the hell have you been?" Josh's raspy voice let out. Payten knows from experience that he was either high or drunk, she was sad he was getting into mischief without her.

"Hey Josh, my parents have me on lockdown you know the deal. Wanna hang?" She was technically still allowed out, she would just tell them she was with Hannah.

"Always baby always, be there in 15," Josh said smooth as usual.

She hung up the phone and skipped her way back to the bedroom. Getting ready as fast as she could; she slipped on her black ripped boyfriend jeans, black and white vans and a striped singlet crop top before doing her usual makeup routine and running a brush through her wavy curls. She made her way toward the kitchen. Just before she went grab a bottle of OJ from the fridge, she saw the 10 rules plastered to the front.

It made her blood boil. The fact her parents were trying to contain and run her life made her sick to her stomach. According to the rules, Payten had two choices; she could either go out and lie about who she was with, there was no way her father would allow her to go out alone with Josh. Or she could invite him in without her parents being home. She debated it for a few minutes before there was a sharp knock at the door snapping her out of her thoughts.

Her heart stomach flustered as she got closer to the door, she unlocked it swiftly to see Josh standing there with a bunch of white roses in his hand.

"Hello, beautiful," Josh said handing Payten the flowers and stepping in giving her a soft peck on the cheek. Payten had butterflies and was in complete awe with the present she had received from her boyfriend.

"Josh these are beautiful, you didn't have to…" she was cut off by a soft finger placed over her lips.

"But I wanted too," Josh muttered seductively and slowly pulled Payten in for a soft kiss that deepened almost immediately.

Before Payten allowed herself to lose total control she pulled away slightly "I have to put these away and then we can go upstairs," She let out shyly, blushing slightly.

Josh nodded against her forehead then watched her walk from their position in the doorway to the kitchen. He leaned against the bottom of the stairs and waited patiently for her return. It brought an instant grin to his face when she did and led him upstairs. As soon as they entered the room he took charge pulling her needily towards him; lips crashing together in hunger and need. They stood in the middle of the room before slowly easing their way toward the bed.

He laid her down gently but with enough force to make her smirk. he wanted her. He started inching toward her neck before subtly kissing and moving down. She ran her fingers through his dark hair missing the touch of his lips against hers. She gasped when she felt a bulge against her thigh but it only intensified her own arousal. As his hands snaked around her back, she knew he was trying to find her bra strap. She sat herself up to remove her singlet and bra, Josh did the same with his shorts, shirt and her pants. The two laid there almost completely naked; embracing each other's beauty.

"You're stunning Payten," Josh let out before climbing back onto her, he was on a mission to explore every inch of her body.

She could feel herself soaked beneath his touch and her center ached for attention, "Josh," she let out husky "I need you," letting their eyes fall in place.

He could see the ecstasy in her stare and slid his hand beneath the thin material of her underwear. Her back arched almost instantaneously and her breathing became uneven as he slowly began to play with her folds and bundle of nerves. He kissed just above the line of the material before withdrawing his hand to pull the panties completely off. He did the same to his own underwear and gave himself a long stroke or two before settling between her legs. He hungrily slid his tongue along the length of her heated core that made her toes curl. She bit down hard on her bottom lip as he started to pick up the pace. He slipped two fingers inside just in time to feel her walls tighten around him.

Payten gasped for air as her inner muscles convulsed vigorously. She could hear her heart beating in her ears; just as she was riding out the high, she felt him rub against her center her blood heating up again. They made eye contact before they both nodded, without words, he slowly thrust into her. He picked up pace until he felt his own orgasm coming over him, and Payten could feel her second edging. He let her cum first before releasing himself and rolling off of her.

They stayed in each other's arms for what felt like days. It wasn't her first time having sex, that was a couple years back at a party with a guy she didn't know the name of. In a way she wished this was her first time, it was their first time together. But it wasn't her first time and it definitely wasn't his. Josh left at around 5 pm and Payten could feel an ache in her stomach probably from days without regular food. She got out of bed, cracked the windows open then remade her bed. She sprayed some air freshener around the room and headed back downstairs. She made herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a cup of black coffee. She settled down in the lounge and flicked through the channels until she stopped to watch some reality show. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the front door open and the house fill with voices. She suddenly felt her head pounding and rubbed her temples to try and relieve some of the pain.

"Payten," her mother called out from the other room.

"In here," Payten let out irritated by the sudden intrusion.

When Addison enter the room she was met by an obviously disoriented Payten. She immediately assumed the worst and wished she didn't. "Are you high?" Addison accused.

"No! I have a migraine," Payten snarled.

Derek could hear the commotion found the two in the lounge "Payten, Calm down. what's going on Addison?" Derek said shifting to focus on one to the other.

"I just thought that when I came in here she looked.. out of it.. like the other night and I wrongly assumed that she was high. I apologize Payten," Addison said walking toward her daughter placing a hand across her forehead.

"You have a temperature," Addison sighed looking at Derek for help.

"What are your symptoms?" Derek had been asking her that question ever since she was young enough to understand what symptoms were.

"A ugh headache, fatigue, stomach pains, chills, dizziness," She said still with her eyes shut.

"Don't forget agitated," She whispered knowing that they would both hear her.

Derek knew exactly why she was feeling this way "What about nausea?"

Payten began to squirm because she knew exactly what was happening to her, she was withdrawing. She had become so dependent on it for the last few days she knew that's why she was feeling so ill. She had taken high and frequent doses because chances are she wouldn't have any for awhile now. Dammit, she mentally cursed herself realizing she forgot to ask Josh for some more.

"A little," She lied shifting herself to sit up and focus more on her dad.

"You know what this is don't you?" Derek asked his daughter sympathetically.

Payten looked into her dad's "McDreamy" eyes and saw all the love and concern he had for her. She was breaking him; for the first time in weeks, she could soberly see the effect her actions had made. Her eyes began to swell with tears, was she about to cry? A tear began to roll down her cheek and before she knew it she was sobbing uncontrollably. Derek felt guilt wash over him and embraced her wholeheartedly. He hugged her and smoothed her hair for a solid 15 minutes before her breathing regulated and her sobs became whimpers. She had fallen asleep in Derek's arms and it melted his heart. His baby was hurt, and sick, and challenged. All he wanted to do was help and protect her so badly from all the danger in the world but it just wasn't possible. He promised himself that he would do everything that he possibly could to get her better again.

 _Several weeks later..._

 _"The party starts at 6, hope to see you all there!"_

Payten locked the home screen of her iPhone and made her way downstairs towards her parents in the lounge.

"Hey, can I talk to you guys?" this was the first time she had asked to go to a party where there would be drugs and alcohol and she wanted to be able to talk them maturely about it so they would let her go.

"Of course P, what's up?" Addison said moving over to make room for her on the couch.

"I was wondering… if I was able to go to my friend Quinn's birthday party on friday. It starts at 6 and finishes at 12 and I won't be drinking or anything like that I just wanna go and see my friends. I haven't really seen anybody in a while, it's starting to drive me a little bit… crazy. I mean not you two! just being.." she was cut off by Derek's hand raising.

"Yes, Payten you may go to your friend's party. But our rules don't change. Your curfew is still at 10. I can pick you up after if you like or you can get a lift home. We trust you so, no substance abuse and curfews at 10," Derek said as he was pulled into a hug by his much smaller daughter.

"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!" she said kissing her dad's head. "I'm gonna go call Amber and let her know," She said leaping from the couch and running back to her room.

"Are you sure about this Der?" Addison said leaning to lay between her husband's legs on the long couch.

"As much as I wish we could keep her locked up in the security of our home, we have to let her out sometime," Derek said smoothing the top of Addison's head. "Are you feeling alright? It feels like you have a bit of a temperature," Derek said with concern.

"Yeah I'm fine, I'll go have a glass of water," She said standing from her comfortable position on the couch.

"Love you," he called after her

"Love you too," she called back.

As soon as Payten reached her room she pulled out her phone dialing Josh's number,

"Hello?" A girl's voice came through

Payten was trying to find any familiarity in the girl's voice, "Hey.. is Josh there?" She said back.

"Umm no sorry, Josh is... busy," The girl giggled, hearing a whispered "Who's that?" in the background.

"Great, tell him Payten called and that it's fucking over!" She yelled hanging the phone up and throwing it across the room.

She was sad and extremely pissed off but she wasn't going to cry over a dumb fuckboy. After she was able to calm herself down, she picked her phone back up this time calling her aunt Amelia. It was Saturday and as part of their agreement, she had to spend the night there.

Amelia agreed to pick her up in half an hour, Payten started packing her bags as soon as the call ended grabbing all the clothes she needed for the weekend. She pulled her mattress up to reveal a 30 pack of cigarettes, a flask full of cheap vodka and half a tin of weed. She decided to save the vodka; packing both the smokes and marijuana. Amelia usually went out with Owen on Saturday nights, leaving her all alone for at least 4 hours which was a rarity these days. She grabbed her bag and pillow and went downstairs to say goodbye to her parents. She may have taken longer than she thought when she found Amelia was already there waiting for her.

"You ready to go champ?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Payten said with fake disinterest. To be honest, she loved staying with Amelia, she was so chilled out and they just always clicked.

Payten said goodbye to Addison and Derek and met Amelia in the car. As they drove to Amelia's house, their conversations flowed as it always did.

"So your parents told me that you were off to a party tomorrow night," Amelia stated simply.

"Yeah. Can you believe it?" Payten huffed.

"No, if you were my kid you'd never see the sun again," Amelia joked.

Payten didn't get why Amelia was always the first to judge. She was the biggest hypocrite and it was super annoying.

"Hahaha that's what Nanna should've done with you," Payten mumbled back.

They arrived at Amelia's small townhouse and Amelia informed Payten that she wouldn't be going out anywhere, instead, they could order Chinese takeout and watch Netflix all night. As much fun as that sounded; Payten had been hanging out for a cigarette all day. Dammit, she'd have to wait a lot longer than she could bare. Luckily it didn't take long for Amelia to fall asleep and she was able to sneak out of the living room and through the guest rooms back door.

Taking the first long drag of her cigarette she instantly felt light headed and sick. She coughed a few times before taking another long puff, pulling a small pipe out of her bag along with the rest of her weed. She packed the pipe taking a couple hits not realizing her aunt being awake and standing right behind her.

"On the bright side at least it's not oxy or cocaine. Because that would much worse," Amelia said startling the girl making her jump from her seat, "Relax," Amelia said taking a seat next to her.

Payten was quite and also curious to find out where this conversation would lead, honestly, she didn't really care anymore. Whatever she had to say was gonna get her in deep shit with Addison and Derek anyways. So she decided to let it play out.

"I don't do that shit anymore… not since.." She said trailing off not wanting to go into too much detail.

"Not since what?" Amelia said grabbing the pipe from Payten's hand and lighting it.

Was this seriously happening? Did Amelia just have a puff of her weed? What the fuck was happening?

Payten grabbed the pipe after her aunty's 4th hit, "What the fuck are you doing?!" Payten said standing from her seat and confronting Amelia.

"What? Why can't I do it and you can? C'mon Payten it's only weed, right? It's not like it's a drug or anything? It's not like you aren't allowed to do it, it's not like it's illegal or anything… chill," Amelia said relaxed but serious; she was obviously high already.

"I don't usually smoke weed but I don't do oxy anymore because… I can't. I can't get any.. I can't go back to being the biggest disappointment in everybody's lives obviously," Payten stuttered.

"You can't get any more oxy? But if you could you would right?" Amelia questioned.

"Yeah, I probably would. But I'm not mixing with those kids anymore Amei I swear," Payten confessed honestly, "I broke up with my boyfriend today.. he was my supplier.. the only one I know… so no I won't be doing anymore oxy," Payten said pouring her heart out, she could tell Amelia probably missed half of what she was saying because she was so baked.

"You had a boyfriend! I'm your aunt you should tell me things like this!" Amelia gasped.

"Yeah, I probably should… but that doesn't matter anymore. You should go to bed," Payten said holding her hand out to pull Amelia to her feet.

Accepting the hand she got to her feet, "Not so easy chump you need to spill to me before I do anything!" she said stepping back into the room and plumping down on the bed.

"Well… what do you want to know?" She didn't know why but she did want to talk to somebody about all the stuff she kept locked up in her mind.

"Are you… have you?" Amelia said with hand gestures that Payten couldn't make out. Amelia realized her niece's confusion whispering "Had sex?"

Payten let out a soft chuckle "Yeah. I have," watching her aunt's shocked expression, "Don't look so shocked! If I've tried class A drugs, I'm not exactly a saint,"

Amelia laughed at this even though it was a serious topic, she had never had a one on one with her niece, not like this. "Very true, very true," Amelia shrugged, "Protection, right?"

Payten cringed, "Whatever makes you less angry, then sure,"

Amelia sighed shaking her head at her niece, "Ok, that's enough of that,"

"I can't believe you smoked that," Payten rolled her eyes.

"How about we make a deal? Everytime you do it I do it?" Amelia proposed.

Payten's mouth gaped open, "Nooo. no, you'll lose your job are you crazy!?"

"How have you been getting away with all those drug tests?" Amelia remembered.

"Mum and dad forgot to test me for awhile," Payten shrugged.

"Okay, well from now on I'm testing you myself every Saturday night. And in exchange, i won't tell your mom and dad until after your party ok? Have we got a deal none for you and none for me?"

Payten let out a long sigh but agreed. She wasn't about to drag Amelia down with her.

"Okay get some sleep bud, I love you," Amelia said dragging her feet out of the room.

"Hey, Amei! Thank you," Payten said before Amelia got out the door

"Always kiddo!"

The week flew by as the time arrived for Payten to start getting ready for the party. Wearing a black short leather skirt and a gray halter neck crop top, not wanting to burst the girl's bubble Addison and Derek insisted that she looked beautiful. Derek had dropped her off at the party and Payten had said she had arranged plans for a way home. Both of her parents were scheduled to work up until 10 to be home in time for the girl's arrival.

Payten's mind was cloudy. She could feel her throat gasping for air as her chest tightened. Her palms gripping onto the side of the bed and tears running from her eyes to her cheek to her neck. Only darkness surrounding her, eating her alive. A small hand wrapped around her wrist causing her heartbeat to skyrocket and her tears to become louder and almost painful.

"Shhh.. baby it's me," Addison said smoothing the sweaty hairs that covered her daughter's forehead. But the girl did not calm down. "Payten, honey," Addison said shaking the girl gently. When the girl still didn't respond Addison shook her a little harder pulling her out of her slumber.

Payten sat up immediately giving Addison the fright of her life. It took her a second to adjust to the darkness before realising it was her mother that woke her from her night terror.

"Mom!" she said leaping into her arms "I had the worst dream about you and Dad being in the hospital and there was a shooting and Mark picked me up and you were in the hospital; Amelia was there too and Doctor Bailey and I was… I was scared and thought I was going to lose you and I didn't know what I was doing and…" Payten's eyes filled with tears as she wept into her mother's shoulder.

"Oh honey, that is horrible! We are fine sweetheart we are all fine," Addison said running her hand lovingly up and down her thin daughters back.

The room filled with light which made Addison blink and looked over to the doorway where her husband was standing rubbing his eyes and yawning a little before realizing the scene that was playing out on Payten's bed. He gave Addison a confused look and she gave him a wide-eyed expression to show that their daughter was seriously distraught.

Payten's weeping lasted a good few minutes before she felt a much stronger hand on her back, "Are you okay P?" Derek said above a whisper.

Payten nodded against her mother's chest and sat up to wipe her tears. "How did i get home?" she quipped.

"I picked you up remember? From the corner of that dog park downtown?" Derek said trying to jog the girls memory.

"I don't remember…. I thought I walked?" Payten mumbled.

Addison and Derek exchanged a worried look and Derek began his analysis, "Look we won't be mad if you tell us that you were dumb and you drank something or took something; We just need to know," Derek said calmly to the much smaller figure sitting in between him and his wife.

"I don't think i took anything.. I can only remember what i thought was real life but was a dream… i was asleep in the park and then Mom rang and said Mark was picking me up?" Payten said eyes shut trying to recall what she thought were the nights events.

"Honey, you know Mark lives in New York right?" Addison reminded the young girl.

"Yeah well it felt really really real," Payten admitted.

"Do you think you remember going to bed?" Derek questioned

"Ummm. No, I don't remember that either," She said honestly.

Derek and Addison gave each other another look that this time Payten noticed.

"What?" she looked between the two confused.

"We think this might be another side effect of drug withdrawal," Addison admitted.

"Drug withdrawal?" she said through a dry throat.

"Nightmares, Fatigue, Nausea, Dizziness, Headaches are all common when you go cold turkey," Addison spoke sensitively.

Payten let out a long sigh and a few tears ran down her cheek. In her dream, she was being examined by Dr. Bailey, not that she wanted to tell her mother and father,

 _"Payten, sorry for the wait. We had to run your blood a couple of times to be sure of the results,"_

 _Amelia sat up straight with an expression of worry spread across her face, "What results?" she stammered._

 _"Payten, have you had any sign of Nausea? Dizziness? Fatigue? Increased urination?" Dr. Bailey asked sympathetically._

 _Payten nodded she had experienced those symptoms but they were normal with withdrawal?_

 _"Okay, and have you had regular periods?" She said looking down at Payten's patient file._

 _Payten's mouth gaped open and her blood ran cold as she realized what Bailey was implying. She struggled to find the words to respond as her stomach was doing hurdles beneath her skin. Her face was pale and her mouth couldn't form words to reply. Instead, she slowly shook her head._

 _Bailey stepped closer to the bed taking a hand of Payten's into her own. "Sweety," she said warmly "You are pregnant,"_

"What's wrong baby? You are alright you hear me? These symptoms will pass I promise you!" Addison reassured her wiping the spillage from her face.

"Yeah, P, they will," Derek said wrapping his arms around his daughter's slim frame.

No they won't she thought to herself. They really won't.

A couple days went past and the nightmares had eventually subsided. She was alone most of the day until either her mom or dad was home from work, rarely both at the same time. The silence had taken over her mind and she couldn't stop thinking about one thing. Surprisingly it wasn't drugs. She had sex with Josh once and she honestly couldn't remember if they even used a condom. Maybe. Maybe she should ask him. That thought was quickly kicked out of her head. But that put her on another line of thought, What if she was? What would he do? What would her parents do? What would she do? The girl jumped out of her well slept in bed and pulled on a grey sweater that was 10 times to big and a pair of black leggings. She grabbed her phone and wallet from her bedside table and slipped on a pair of flats.

It was a 15-minute walk from her suburban home to the grocery store, the entire walk she replayed the day she could've possibly conceived a child. She truly couldn't remember a single detail about contraception. She cursed under her breath, how could she be so stupid?

Entering the store she got chills as the air conditioner hit her entire body, she walked through the entrance and searched the signs that hung above her head looking for the words, "Homeware." She walked down aisle 5 and began to search its contents for a pregnancy test.

Amongst the razors, deodorant, and shampoos, she managed to find a small pink box with a picture of a stick with two lines on it. It made her cringe internally; grabbing three boxes off the shelf she stuck them into her jumper pocket and turned to head to the checkout, she was stopped by a much smaller dark skinned woman that made her jump back in surprise.

"Dr. Bailey!" Payten squealed in shock

Miranda gave Payten a quick look over and by the sound of her greeting made her instantly suspicious, "Hello Payten, How are you going?"

Payten could feel a stream of sweat forming on her forehead "I'm fine. Thank you, but I'm really busy actually. I have a bunch of homework! It was good seeing you," The girl said holding onto the contents within her pocket and hurrying off to the checkout line. Miranda stood stunned in the middle of the aisle, something was definitely going on.

Payten practically ran home cutting the 15-minute walk into a 5-minute run. She opened the door and let out a long sigh of relief. Miranda hadn't seen anything she repeated in her head. She was so caught up in the moment she didn't realize Amelia was sitting in the lounge. Amelia was sitting with the perfect of the girl; she watched Payten as she stood in front of the door panting and pulling off her jumper, dropping the plastic bag full of tests on the floor. Amelia let out a soft cough making the girl aware of her presence, Payten stopped and mentally cursed herself. Great, this was it she was done. Payten closed her eyes and took a deep breath holding in her tears that would certainly make her have an emotional meltdown.

"You okay?" Amelia could see that her niece was about to cry as she had always bitten her bottom lip and kept her head down in shame as if it was a bad thing to show her emotions.

With a sniffle, Payten stood up and stared her aunty straight in her eyes "I think I'm pregnant," she let out unnaturally.

Surprisingly Amelia's face or expression didn't change, she got off her seat on the couch and walked toward the girl.

"Payten Grace Amelia," she said slowly anger evident beneath gritted teeth.

Payten stayed calm, she deserved this.

"How could you be so…" Amelia had to physically bite down on her tongue before she said something she'd regret. Taking a long sharp breath she grabbed the bag at the bottom of Payten's feet before handing it back to Payten.

"Get upstairs,"

Payten dragged her feet step by step and made her way toward the bathroom. Once they were both in, Amelia was sure to lock the door before turning to face it. Payten was confused but only for a minute before she realized she wanted her to take the test now.

"I can't do this now!" Payten stressed.

"Well you don't have a choice!" Amelia hissed back.

Rolling her eyes she sat down on the toilet seat, letting out a huff "I can't do this now, Amei," Payten begged.

Amelia did have some sympathy for the girl but it was clouded by a lot of anger and disappointment.

"You really have no other option, you either do it here. Now. With me and we sort this thing out together or we wait till your crazy mother and crazy father get back here and kill you first," Amelia shouted.

Payten didn't even think about what she would've done if it was her mother home instead of her much more considerate aunty.

"Fine," she agreed finally "Just don't look!"

The test would take around 10-15 minutes to show the results and the two waited in absolute silence. Amelia made Payten pee on all three sticks just to be positive with the results and had already called her G.P to run a blood test. Payten's mind was on one thing the results; Amelia's mind was on a hundred other things.

The relationship she had with her brother had always been rocky but they still managed to keep an open line of communication between each other, especially since she was so close to Payten. Now how was she supposed to handle this situation? Stick by her brother and lose all respect from her best friend/niece or hide the biggest secret that could destroy their relationship in a moment?

The timer went off after 15 minutes, Payten was seated on the toilet seat with her head in her hands breathing shallow. "Can you check them?" Payten said above a whisper.

Amelia felt sick to her stomach but managed to pick up all three sticks and check them and double check them against the brochures instructions. Tears filled her eyes and she let a weep escape her mouth before putting her hand over it. "I'm sorry P, they are all positive,"

And just like that. The moment they had all been waiting for. The collapse of Payten Shepherd.


	3. Promise me

**I know this chapter is lonnnng over due but hey, it's up? :) I'm very sorry but please read & review for more regular updates that I promise will be coming! Thanks fam, also this chapter is pretty heavy with my original character which I apologise for it's just so I can set up my following chapters with more Addison/Shepherd and also Amelia/Owen, anyways hope you all enjoy! **

"I don't know what to do"

Amelia said pacing the Shepherd's large living room as Payten sat in the middle of the large wood brown sofa, arms wrapped tightly around her knees not even listening to whatever was coming out of Amelia's mouth.

"Payten!" Amelia yelled pulling her out if her thoughts "I need to tell Derek"

Payten leaped from the couch pleading with her aunt

"Please please don't tell dad! I will do anything please Amei please don't tell him yet" Payten said on the verge of breaking down

"Payten, i don't think you understand. they need to know. They are understanding parents. They love you and they know what you are going through i don't think they will react the way you think" Amelia tried to convince her niece

"Please Amei, mom will disown me. She will be so embarrassed and i just.. can't deal with that. Dad will be the same. You know how this is gonna go" Payten kept nagging

Amelia honestly didn't know how they would react, it was one way or the other

"Well what do you want me to do? Lie? Keep the biggest secret ever from them? They will hate me if they find out i knew and didn't tell them!"

"Please just…. Just promise you won't tell them yet!"

Amelia swore at herself for being in this position in the first place "I promise, Payten but you're gonna have to tell them eventually i mean, morning sickness? Fatigue? There's no way you can hide it for long"

Payten thought for a moment, there was no way she was keeping this child. She was not ready, she couldn't raise a child she was a child herself! She made a mistake but there were other options.

"I'm not keeping it" Payten stated plainly

"Excuse me?" Amelia said through gritted teeth, she was furious. What was she talking about?

"I'm having an abortion, there is no way i am having a baby!" Payten explained to her aunt as if she was stupid

Amelia took a moment to calm down before she lost her cool completely

"You made a huge mistake, You deal with your consequences you don't get rid of them!" Amelia was really trying to restrict herself from going overboard

Payten wasn't listening anymore, it was her body and her decision. Besides she was dead either way.

She knew that this was the decision she wanted to make, her parents would react the same way her aunt did. Her mother was a obgyn for godsake there was no way her parents would allow her to make her own decisions.

Shaking her head refusing to listen Payten stormed out of the lounge and into her bedroom to cool off. She knew her aunt was probably on the phone to her parents right now. She grabbed her plain black jansport backpack and stuffed a handful of t-shirts and a couple pairs of shorts from her drawers in the bag. She zipped the very full bag up and slowly pushed her window open, dropping the bag down she climbed out jumping 2 metres down landing in the backyard. She needed to run to get away from the madness and the possibility that she was growing an infant inside of her. She took a deep breath looking around, she couldn't disappoint them again. Dammit, All her thoughts were overpowering her mind all she wanted to do was escape. And just like that, she was gone.

Silence rang through the house for what seemed like days but really was only a few hours, Amelia had decided against telling her brother and sister in law anything for the time being. She hadn't reacted appropriately when Payten told her what she wanted to do, it was hard for her to imagine her baby niece being pregnant let alone aborting the baby. It was a huge thing to do and go through, she needed to let her know that she was sorry and she stood by whatever Payten wanted to do now that she had time to think and process what she wanted. She walked up the stairs and down the hall and stopped outside Payten's room. Taking a few deep breaths she knocked hard and fast "Payten.. can i come in"

When there was no reply Amelia knocked again "I'm sorry ok, i won't say anything until you are ready…" she cracked the door open slowly and peered in search of her niece, when she wasn't in sight Amelia entered the room fully.

"Payten?" She called out through the house, again no reply.

" ..shit" she muttered to herself pulling out her phone to call her niece. When she was met with the answer phone after the 10th time she gave up in defeat. Maybe she went out for a walk to clear her head? But she didn't go through the front door.. Amelia had a gut feeling something was wrong when she noticed that all of the teens draws were open, she used to run away a lot as a teen when her mother and her would fight or when they used to try and force her to attend AA meetings threatening her that if she wasn't clean she couldn't stay at home anymore. Of course these were empty threats in desperate measures but Amelia just knew. The sound of keys rattling caught her attention straight away and Amelia bolted towards the door anger in every step she took when the door opened so did her mouth

"Where the hell did you go!" she shouted from the top of the stairs, until she realised it wasn't her niece at the door.

"Amelia!" Addison jumped back in shock

"Addison!" She gasped, "I ugh… i thought… i thought you were Payten" she said trying her best to calm her nerves.

"What? Where did she go?" Addison asked confused at Amelia's clear attempt to mask her anger

"Hmmm… i don't know addie, we had yano an argument and i thought she was in her room. But she's not…" Amelia rambled

Addison stood at the bottom of the stairs looking up at her distressed sister in law "An argument about what?"

"What?" Amelia honestly didn't hear Addison through the sound of her heart beat in her ears, what was supposed to say? Oh we found out she was pregnant and she had a tantrum because she didn't want me to tell yous.

Addison eyed Amelia up and down, something was seriously going on in the young neurosurgeons brain.

"What were you arguing about?" she eyed Amelia suspiciously

Amelia's brain froze. She couldn't think of what to say, how to lie.

"She um.. Ugh we were just arguing.. Over the um.. Th"

Amelia was cut off when Addison snapped her fingers loud enough to disrupt whatever train of thought she had had "What are you even babbling on about?" Addison chuckled kicking her shoes off at the door and wondering out of Amelia's sight into the living area.

Amelia took a deep breath, sending a swift text along the lines of "pick up your damn phone" before tucking the phone into her back pocket and following Addie into the lounge area. Addison sat across the room on the large brown leather sofa facing Amelia as she nervously entered the room.

"So what were you saying?" Addison questioned

Amelia was fiddling with the hem of her long white tee before giving in and explaining that she had a strong hunch Payten had run away.

Shock rang through Addison's body as it eventually subsided the more Amelia explained why she had, anger started to take over her thoughts. "Amelia…."

Addison snapped rounding up Amelia's rambling.

"Hm?" Amelia quipped

"How did…. Why would she… Where the hell did she go!?" Addison growled letting out a shaky breath

"Listen Addie i'm so sorry if i would've known what she would've done… i.. I would never of left her alone" Amelia confessed on the verge of tears.

Addison shook her head she was furious she wasn't informed about this whole thing sooner "You should've told me Amelia! The moment you found out! Instead you stayed here and allowed her to get so wound up that she _ran_ away" Addison spat back in resentment.

"I didn't think she would run Addison!"

Addison glared at Amelia before shouting "Get the hell out of my house!"

Amelia was drawing blood to her bottom lip from the amount of pressure she had applied with her top teeth taking in a shallow breath she span around using her heel and left the house slamming the door behind her. Wiping out her phone again she dialled Payten's number and waited for her to answer this time being obviously rejected after 2 seconds of being on the line. Although Amelia was pissed she had rejected the call she felt better knowing her phone was on and Payten would be seeing the texts and calls coming through. Amelia sat in her car stumped for what to do next, focusing on the likelihood that Payten couldn't of gone far and would most likely be home tonight she headed back to her own home in the hopes she would be informed if Payten had returned.

Payten sat on the curb outside the Shepherd's old residence, the house was full of good memories that took place before the arguing and the father that never came home from night shifts, before "Uncle Mark" or Meredith Grey. Sure life was happy now and her parents arguments were a rarity but it was never quite as happy as her childhood was. Looking into her life just _thinking_ about how much had changed made her queasy and the thoughts were quickly banished to the back of her mind. The vibrations sounded from her phone placed next to her had finally subsided and she allowed herself to pick it up and call Josh, Not that she honestly thought he would care but he did have a right to know.

The line rang for a couple seconds before she was met with the sound of a serious voice of a much older man, "Hello?" the voice sounded through the phone

"Ugh hi, may i please speak to Josh?" Payten spoke into the receiver

"Joshua isn't answering calls at the moment." The man informed her

Payten didn't recognise the voice, she had met most of his family members and Josh didn't live with his dad or brothers. Her thoughts were cut short as the man spoke again.

"Joshua is currently in County Jail mam, i am most certainly not his personal receptionist and if you would like to speak with him you will have to pop down for a visit."

Payten was confused with the whole ordeal, 'If you're not his receptionist why the hell are you answering his phone?' she thought to herself. "Oh okay, thanks for that i will be seeing him later i suppose"

A grumble sounded through the ear piece then the line was dead.

Great she sighed.

Her phone was going off every 2 damn seconds, for the first 5 times she ignored it completely then she eventually turned her phone on silent, scrolling through her missed calls from her Mom, Dad and Aunt. Also a couple from Richard Webber, her Aunt Charlotte in LA, and of course Amber that her mom would of notified. Reading a few of her mother's texts made her even more angry. ' _Payten Grace Amelia Shepherd, where the f*!#$ are you?' , 'Please Payten, this is ridiculous. Come home now', 'Ok enough is enough. Answer your damn phone!'._ It was really the latest one the infuriated her the most ' _You made a mistake alright, you can't just run away from your problems Payten. Come home when you are ready to face them'._

She knew it, she thought to herself. There was no way that she was able to trust Amelia after this. She sent a cruel text stating exactly that to her aunt before shutting her phone off for good. Maybe she thought to herself that she would've returned home but after this no way was she facing them knowing they were seriously pissed and would most probably force her into something she didn't want to do.

Amelia received the text a little after half past 8 and it struck her right in the heart, she read it word for word and it made her wince every time she had read and re-read it. " _Well thanks for telling my mom, i bet that won you over some points didn't it? I hope you feel better knowing that i don't even feel safe going home anymore. Well you reaaally fucked me over 'Aunt' Amelia, you couldn't just give me awhile to get my head around it, Instead you turned this into my parents hating my guts instead of keeping something to yourself that you_ _PROMISED_ _you would. We aren't family, Family do not do that to each other. I mean this from the bottom of my heart when i say i NEVER want to see your face again. I have never hated someone as much as i hate you right now Amelia, I hate myself for thinking i could trust you."_

Amelia was slumped into the couch as her bottom lip began to quiver she began to explain what the text had said to Owen, "She said she hates me… That she never wants to see me again" now with tears flowing freely down her face. Owen sat beside her on the couch and tried to soothe her by rubbing his hand up and down the length of her shoulder while she was snuggled into the crook of his neck weeping. The stress of her day had seriously taken its toll on her and within minutes she was asleep on Owen's shoulder. "Oh Amei.." he looked down at her sympathetically. Lying her down on the couch and evenly laying the throw blanket on top of her and placing a feather light kiss on her forehead.

Back at the Shepherd home chaos had erupted as Addison and Derek had handled the problem at hand in very different ways. Addison was adamant that when she saw her daughter again there would be hell to pay! Calling every person she could think that would be even remotely in touch with Payten, calling all local stores, malls and insisting Derek go with her to check every bus stop to find their rotten brat of a teen. While Derek was more relaxed understanding and analysing the situation knowing and trusting his daughter which came across to Addison as "Not giving a shit!"arguments had started between the pair

"You obviously don't give a crap if all you wanna do is sit here and do NOTHING at all" Addison yelled across the living room where derek sat reading the paper.

He inhaled deeply and continued sitting in silence before Addie piped up again.

"Wow. Now you are ignoring me like i'm being irrational? Our Daughter… is Gone Derek… GONE…"

"I am not ignoring you Addison, i understand why you are stressed. But what can we do? She is a clever girl Addie if she doesn't want to be found, she won't be" Derek stated simply.

"I can't believe this" Addison storming off towards the kitchen before Derek heard the front door open then slam shut.


	4. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! Finally updating, hope you all enjoy this chapter and i am nearly finished the next one! please read, review and enjoy!**

A few weeks had passed with no word from Payten and they had all began to get worried and desperate. Where could she possibly be? Derek had a gut feeling that he would know if the girl was in danger and didn't think that stressing out would be of help to any of them. He was confident that he knew his girl but of course, This earned him a nice bed on the couch. Addison however had been restrained from reporting a missing person in the trust that her daughter needed time before her return that she was beginning to doubt everyday. The whole ordeal had put a heavy strain on the pair's marriage and the two were barely on speaking terms.

Amelia on the other hand had been texting and calling the girl in the day and searching the streets of Seattle at night. She could barely make it to work everyday with the guilt she carried around on her shoulders. Owen was worried that the pressure she was under might cause her to do something stupid again and he wouldn't be surprised if she picked up a drink or brought something to help ease her pain sometime soon. The entire Shephard family was a mess to be blunt and were trying to survive each day until Payten's return.

Payten however had been crashing on an old friend from elementary school's couch. Payten had explained everything to the mother of her friend Hannah, who insisted Payten stay as long as she needed to. Throughout the day Payten would usually go down to the county jail to visit Josh and when she wasn't there was at Hannah's just helping with cleaning and any other chores that needed to be done. She didn't have much money left so she wanted to be able to contribute in some sort of way usually looking after Hannah's little siblings or cooking dinner. Payten knew that she wouldn't be able to live there for much longer, she was another mouth to feed and felt like a huge burden on the family for not being able to pay her way. Hannah had mentioned that she was going to go out and hand her resume to the shops in the local area. Payten decided that she would draft her own resume and go out with Hannah.

The girls wandered through the large local shopping centre and went to nearly every store in hopes of finding a part time job. For hannah it was about a little bit of extra cash but for Payten it was about being able to pay rent and buy food. After the girls had been to nearly every shop in the mall they decided to go down to the food court to find something to eat. Just as the girls were walking towards the escalator Payten felt a firm hand on her shoulder, turning around out of surprised she was met with a concerned looking Owen Hunt.

"Payten?" He said in a hushed tone.

Payten froze looking at the man when Hannah grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the man she did not recognize.

"Hannah, that was Owen… My aunt's boyfriend" she said quickly trying to blend in with the hundreds of other people wandering the mall.

"Payten!" They heard a man's voice yell out.

"Run!" Payten yelled as both the girls ran down the escalator trying to escape Owen.

There were so many people as the girls sprinted through the food court trying to dodge everyone to get outside. Just before they reached the door they were blocked by the ginger haired man and they both sighed in unison panting while trying to catch their breath.

"You really tried to run?" Owen grinned at the girls attempt to get away from an ex-sergeant.

"It was worth a try" Payten stated jokingly still trying to catch her breath.

"How about i buy lunch?" Owen suggested.

Hannah and Payten shared a look then unsteadily agreed. Owen was pleased.

"C'mon then girls" He said instructing the two teens to lead the way.

Once they had all chosen their food they sat at a small table with three seats. It was comfortably silent for 10 minutes before Owen decided to speak

"How are you Payten?" He asked with genuine concern.

Swallowing a bite of food and closing her eyes to savour the quiet before speaking

"I'm fine" Payten said with a sigh. Why did Owen care? He just wanted to tell Amelia

everything.

"That's good" Owen shrugged sensing the girl didn't want to open up too him.

"Mmm how are you?" The girl asked so before taking another bite out of her food.

"I'm very good thank you" Owen stated before sipping on his soda "I'm not sure i got your name?" he said focusing on Payten's friend.

Hannah felt a nudge underneath the table and she picked up on what Payten meant "It's Emily… Emily Warren" Hannah said sticking her hand out to shake Owen's.

Owen steadily shook the girl's hand "It's a pleasure to meet you"

"You too, and thank you for lunch but we should get going. My mom needs us home by 4" Hannah stated standing from the table and pushing in her chair followed by Payten doing the same thing.

"Yeah thanks Owen" Payten said fixing her hair a little

Owen sighed a little and offered the girl's a ride which they obviously declined as it would give away Payten's hiding spot. Before letting the girl's leave Owen gently pulled Payten away from her friend as she took the remaining rubbish to the bin.

"Payten… it was good to see you and know you are safe. I know your family are really worried about you.. They just want to help you with.. everything.." Owen disclaimed sincerely.

"I don't think my parents want to help me.. They probably want to kill me" she scoffed

"I'm positive that is not true" Owen smiled at the girl

Payten had tears dwelling in her eyes and choked up a little "I really messed up this time"

Owen placed a gentle hand on the girl's shoulder and squeezed it lightly "They are your family Payten. They will never stop worrying about you or loving you with whatever mistakes you've made. I know that your Aunt barely sleeps at night worrying about where you are. Your mother is the same.. Here take this" Owen said holding a few $100 bills.

"Oh no, Owen it's fine really i don't want your money" The girl said wiping the few tears that had silently escaped.

Owen insisted and the girl reluctantly took the money "Thank you, i will get it back to you when i can" She said sincerely.

"Don't worry about it, and please call me if you need anything else. My number is 615-1275" He said scribbling it down on a serviette and handing it back to Payten.

"Ok" She said simply taking the note and thanking him again before heading off towards the exit with Hannah

Just before she could leave the mall Owen called out her name and ran up to her before he could forget "Payten sorry i ugh forgot.. Would you like to make an appointment at the hospital? I mean for a checkup and everything. I could book you into the clinic and it's all confidential. Nobody will know who you are…. I couldn't even tell Amelia. Just to make sure you are… both fine" He said awkwardly.

"I'll let you know" Payten said kindly. She appreciated that the man genuinely cared for her and she could see that with the way he looked out for her wellbeing.

"Oh alright well… have a nice day" he said backing away slowly

The girls made their way home as Owen headed back to the hospital's ER. Just as he was getting changed into his usual scrub attire an ambulance pulled into the bay, Owen ran toward the ambulance as the rig doors opened.

"What have we got?" Owen asked helping pull the stretcher down from the vehicle.

"Chantelle Walters, 16. She was breathing extremely shallow when we found her and her BP is 105/65 and still tachycardic. She was given oxygen as soon as we found her and we attempted to control the multiple lacerations on her head, face and abdomen. She has 3 deep lacerations on her abdomen which we managed to pack and stop her from bleeding out. We started an IV on her as well. She doesn't look too good" the EMT explained as he wheeled the girl into the exam room.

"Alright, well someone page , Pierce and Shepherd he or she is fine. And also find her blood type, CBC and find any previous records with this hospital before we pump any medicine"

"Oh and doctor, She's DNR" The paramedic yelled over the chaos in the room before making his swift escape.

"DNR? She's only 16!" one of the interns let out shocked

"It's not too uncommon doctor, Where is cardio? This girl's heart is beating way too fast" Owen yelled frustrated

"Here.. sorry i just got out of surgery" Maggie said while pulling on her gown

"Edwards, how are her pupils?" Owen said inquired while trying to examine the rest of her lacerations.

"Saccadic eye movements and ocular pursuits" The resident informed sadly

"Pump 0.10mg of adenosine to stabilise the tachycardia and when you're ready, i would like her to have a chest CT. Her BP should stabilize now but if it doesn't pump another 0.10mg's and page me" Pierce said before excusing herself and leaving the room.

Just as she left Amelia entered the room and asked "What do we got?"

"Chantelle Walters. 16, B.P is starting to stabilize. Multiple lacerations on her head and rest of her body, pupils are saccadic with ocular pursuits. She's also DNR" Karev informed Amelia.

Amelia walked to where the girls head laid pulling up each eyelid carefully "Can you do that in theatre? She needs a C.T like yesterday probably a TBI but i can't be sure without em scans" Amelia said putting the flashlight back in her coat pocket.

"Yes we can. ready to roll?" Owen asked Karev who agreed.

"Let's move her to the stretcher on my count.. 1..2..3" Karev called out.

They were only a few hours into the surgery when Owen's phone rang "Just ignore it" He told the nurse to which Amelia gave him a strange look and decided to start up a conversation

"When did you start work? I was looking for you before i went into surgery at 2?" She questioned

"Oh i came in around then.. Had lunch at the mall" He stated not wanting to tell her he ran into Payten just yet.

"Oh cool, you shoulda told me" Amelia shrugged

"Why? He wondered seriously

"So we could eat together?" She said kind of upset

"But you had surgery?" Owen huffed a little

"Not scheduled surgery Owen, I didn't know i was going in" She said with a hint of snarkiness

Before he could answer Amelia his phone rang from the corner of the room again.

"Who is it?" he asked one of the nurses

"No caller i.d but the number is 615-4710" the nurse told him

"Please just ask them to leave me a message" Owen didn't recognise the number but Amelia did.

"That's Payten's number Owen! Answer it!" Amelia stressed

Owen froze and cursed himself "No.. Leave a message" He affirmed with the nurse.

Amelia looked at him stunned "What?"

"Amelia.. We don't have time to talk… or argue.. We are in surgery"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Amelia stopped working

" … Enough" He shouted back.

The girls heartrate dropped and descended to a flatline in an blink of an eye

"No no no no" Owen said grabbing the paddles. Karev held his hands up before he could resuscitate her.

"Owen, She's DNR" He yelled.

The trio waited for what seemed like days but was only half an hour. The girl had died. They could've saved her. And now she was gone.

Eventually the three left the OR shattered. As they were scrubbing out Amelia decided to push Owen a little on why _her_ niece was calling _him_.

"Don't you think it's a little weird that Payten is calling you?" Amelia questioned

Owen let out a groan and continued to scrub his hands "Not really" He shrugged "It's probably because i saw her today at the mall and gave her my number incase she needed anything"

Amelia looked blankly at Owen, her anger was heating up and her hands began to shake. Her jaw was clenched as she fought back tears "You saw my _pregnant_ niece and didn't have the nerve to tell me? You gave her your number and let her go? Like she meant nothing!" She said gradually raising her voice and sending him death glares.

"No Amelia" He said reaching out to grasp her shoulders

"Don't you dare touch me" She said moving back as fast as he retreated his arm "I cannot believe you would do this. What about her mom huh? And her dad? Do they know you've seen their missing daughter do they?"

Owen let out a deep breath he didn't know he had been holding "I was going to tell you. And them. I had just got to work when the ambulance pulled up.."

"Why didn't you call? Text? We could have gotten her Owen and brought her home!" Amelia spat with tears in her eyes again.

"I was going to tell you Amei, i promise" he said with his head down before he heard the door behind him open and slam shut.

"Amelia called. Owen saw Payten at the mall today. I think we should start looking around the area of the mall maybe we will see her around with some of her friends. Since you don't want the police involved" Addison spoke with a tinge of sarcasm in her voice

"Hmmm" Is all that came out of Derek's mouth.

Addison rolled her eyes at Derek's little interest in the disappearance of his only child "Hmmm? That's the amount you care, huh?" She questioned him

"Addison.." He sighed

"What Derek? Go on say it!" She insisted

"I'm not in the mood" He groaned before taking off his glasses in the small C.T observation room.

"Oh wait i already know what you're going to say… She's 'fine' Addison" she imitated Derek

"Why do you keep saying that? She is not 'fine'. How could she possibly in any universe be 'fine'. She is 16 years old, _pregnant_ , has no money or a job and who even knows where she's sleeping at night! She is not fine ok… she's not fine" She said trying to convince her husband unsuccessfully.

"Addison… Payten is a smart young women. She would not leave without anywhere to go. The fact that she was at the mall at all today suggests that she is alright. She is our child and we raised her right Addie. She will be back i promise. And when she does we will figure out where to go from there ok?" He said wrapping his wife in a tight hug something he hadn't done in weeks.

"I just miss her so so so much!" She began to sob into his shirt

"So do i Addison.. So do i" He said before pulling back slightly and looking into her eyes "I love you Addie"

"I love you too" She said reaching up to peck his lips lovingly.

"And listen we could always make another one right?" Derek said jokingly with a wink

"You are a sick sick man Derek Shepherd" Addison coughed up a laugh and wiped her tears.

"How about this. We go down to the station and just ask them to keep an eye out for her? That way they won't be knocking down every door, searching high and low which may cause her to run even further. But they will take her in on the off chance they may see her" Derek suggested

Finally! Addison thought to herself she was getting somewhere with him "Yes please Derek i need my baby girl home!"

"Ok then, let's scoot" He said jumping from his chair and through his lab coat over one shoulder, deep down he was actually expecting Payten to be home just a couple of days after her disappearance. He had held his cool and calm facade for far too long. He didn't want to admit it but he was starting to get more and more worried everyday and the mention that Owen had seen her and not him made him much more upset and he had kind of came to the reality that his daughter was literally _gone._

They girls were in the living room chilling on the couches and watching t.v when Payten heard her phone ring, "Hello?" Payten answered as she didn't recognise the number

"Hello, is this Payten Shepherd?" A kind sounding ladies voice came through the line

"Yes it is" Payten didn't recognise the voice

"Hi there Payten, this is Linda from footlocker. I have reviewed your C.V that you handed into the Northgate store and was wondering if i could ask you a few questions?"

Payten was grinning ear to ear, she had a callback "Yes of course!"

"Alright Payten well, what is your availability like?" Linda questioned

"I can work full time, monday to friday… oh and weekends if you need" Payten said enthusiastically.

"Ok great, and how about transport?" Linda asked

"I live about 5 minutes walking distance so it should be a breeze" Payten said while Hannah's ear was on the other side of the phone just as excited as Payten

"Perfect! Now when can you start? We will have a few paid training days before your contract would commence. Pay rate would be set at $15 an hour so minimum wage but working full time you should be doing around 35 hours a week and pay rises would be negotiated if you were to become a supervisor which usually happens the more people we hire" Linda informed

"Oh my gosh! That is awesome, I can start whenever you need me too!" Payten said

"Ok dear well how does friday ughhh…. 11am sound?"

"Great! Thank you so much!" Payten squealed

"The pleasure is mine Payten, see you then!" Linda said ending the call

Once the call was done, Payten turned to grasp her friend in a tight hug "I got a job!" She yelled as the girls laughed and continued to talk about what the future would hold for not only Payten but Hannah too.

"So Pay… what about.. Yano.." Hannah asked shyly

Payten hadn't actually been thinking too much about her pregnancy lately "I don't really know anymore Hann, i mean i thought i knew what i wanted but now.. I feel like maybe.. I might be able to do this.." Payten let out

Hannah grasped the girl's hand "I think you can do it as well Payten"

Payten squeezed the girl's hand a little. She was truly grateful for Hannah taking her in, feeding her, putting a roof over her head and expecting nothing in return. "Thanks Hannah, that means a lot. I know that Josh wants this baby.. Not that we would ever get back together.. And i wouldn't keep it just because he wants me too but i just feel like it's the right thing to do.. Keeping it i mean. I just need to go to the doctors first i think.. I don't even know how far along i am, it might even be too late" She shared

Hannah nodded in understanding "Maybe we should hit the hay and go in the morning.. Have you called Owen?"

"Yeah he must've been in surgery.. I'll call now" Payten said reaching into her back pocket and retrieving her phone as Hannah set off to get ready for bed.

The phone rang a few times before a male's voice came through the other side "Payten?" he asked within a second of answering

"Hey, yeah it's me, I was just wondering if i could come see you tomorrow. At the clinic or whatever" Payten asked shyly

"Yes of course you can! Let me just check my schedule" He said putting the girl on hold shortly.

Payten sat on the edge of her makeshift bed on the couch, running her fingers through her hair before Owen spoke again

"Ok well, how's 9.30am sound?" Owen suggested

"Yep i could probably make it there by then" Payten stated but didn't really know if she could get to the hospital by the bus route closets to Hannah's house

"Hmmm how about i pick you up from outside Northgate mall on my way to work? Would you be able to get there?" Owen asked kindly

"You don't have to do that for me.." Payten stated before getting cut off

"C'mon it's fine really Payten. I'll see you there at 9.15?"

"Okay, thank you! Please don't tell Amei or my parents that i'm coming in tomorrow. I know that puts you in a tricky spot Owen but i'm just not ready" Payten confessed.

"Of course Payten, i won't say a word. Completely confidential" He promised although playing with fire.


	5. Chapter 9

Yay i have some interesting storylines to explore! Sorry this isn't has long but i did want to post this asap and get the story rolling with the fam! Sorry it has taken a little longer but i had exams and stuff but anyways! Read, enjoy and review ?

The ride to the hospital was quick and Payten and Owen had sat in comfortable silence the whole time. As the journey was coming to an end, Owen pulled into Grey Sloan memorial hospital as Payten let out a small but shaky breath. This is it. Pulling into his well used parking spot Owen stopped the car and turned it off.

"You ready?" He asked the nervous teen

"Ready as i'll ever be." She joked.

The pair simultaneously got out of Owen's car and headed towards the hospital's main entrance. As they approached the doors Owen could sense the girls resistance to enter the hospital and could see that she was looking a little pale,

"You alright kiddo?"

But before she could answer Owen, Payten had found herself running towards the nearest trash can, Just making it before spilling the contents of breakfast into the rubbish bin. She felt a gentle hand rubbing up and down her back before she stood up wiping her mouth.

"Sorry." she whimpered.

"Morning sickness?" He asked raising his eyebrows in concern.

"Yep, every morning. Not a minute after 9.30." She sighed pulling her fiery red hair into a messy bun that then sat on top of her head.

"Well we can get you something for that." Owen said as the pair slowly made their way towards the main doors of the building.

The two walked in together and Payten quickly pulled her hoodie over her head in order to avoid anybody recognising her. They quickly made their way into the free clinic where Payten would be examined by another doctor.

"Alright well here you go. There's no name on your file so nobody will know you are here." Owen said examining the manila folder in his hands.

"Owen… i grew up here… someone is more than likely going to recognise me." Payten laughed a little.

Although she was extremely nervous to see her parents there was no denying that she would eventually have to face them in the near future. She had been starting to get confident enough to take that step but she would prefer to do it when she knew she was 100% ready and in her own time. Nevertheless she prefered not having her real identity on any folder and have nobody know that she was anywhere near the hospital.

"Right… forgot about that.. Well ok just let me know if that happens and we can figure something out." Owen insisted

"Ok thanks, have a good day." Payten smiled thankful for the man

"You too Payten." Owen said before leaving the exam room and closing the door behind him

Within 30 minutes of waiting to be seen, A young bright eyed and bushy tailed intern appeared at the door with a pile of files and papers filling her arms. Entering the room the young doctor put all of the contents in her arms onto a nearby desk and began searching through the large stack in search of Payten's folder.

"Good Morning! I am Doctor Turner and i will be giving you a?" She asked looking towards Payten for the answer.

"Uhhh… i don't know.. Check up?" Payten shrugged not knowing exactly what Owen had written in her file.

"Hmmm perhaps. What's your last name?" Doctor Turner asked rummaging through her notes again.

"Um.. i thought this was going to be anonymous?" Payten said wondering out loud.

"Oh right! Yes i have your folder right here." Turner said finally realising her mistake. "Sorry about that" She said pulling her stethoscope off her neck and tucking each side into each ear.

"It's fine." Payten smiled ' _who is this idiotic women'_ she thought to herself.

The doctor finished Payten's general check-up and found nothing to be wrong. Due to the petiteness of the girl it was impossible to tell that even the slightest bump had started to form and before the doctor could dismiss her Payten inquired about her unborn child.

"So the baby, is it alright as well?" Payten asked with a hint of concern.

"Baby?" the doctor looked confused. "Oh, you are pregnant?" Turner gave a baffled look in shock.

"Did the chart not say that?" Payten asked with a hint of frustration.

"Oh yep it does! Hah right here, see!" She turned the folder to show Payten who faked a laugh.

"Silly me well, i will see who's available." Turner said standing to pick up her files and running out the door before Payten could say another word.

Payten had begun to feel nervous, it wasn't common that her mother would work in the mornings and she was a surgeon afteral not a general practitioner. There would be no reason for _her_ to have to be the one to do the ultrasound, Payten said trying to convince herself right before she heard the door open. Her head shot up as she was met with the one and only Addison Montgomery Shepherd.

Entering the room before lifting her eyes from the chart she was intensly studying, Payten could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest as her mouth went dry and swallowing became a challenge. Addison was running through some of the girls results out loud before she heard a weak "Mom?" come out from the patient she was yet to actually see. Looking up confused, a shocked Addison stood in the middle of the exam room. Not taking her eyes off the girl for even one second. _for a full 5 minutes._ The woman's eyes filled with tears and she rushed towards Payten pulling her into an insanely tight hug that they both deeply needed. The two sat weeping into each other's shoulders simply enjoying the others presence again.

"I wanna slap you right now." Addison confessed with a slight laugh

"I'm so sorry." the girl hugged her mother tight for a quick second before pulling back to wipe her face, Addison doing the same thing then placing a soft hand on her daughter's cheek.

"You know i love you right? No matter what? More than anyone or anything in this whole wide world Payten.." Addison exclaimed softly, which only made Payten cry more and nod her head.

"What happened?" Addison asked seriously but still being gentle with the girl.

Taking a deep breath Payten told the story about Josh, The drugs, The sex, The pregnancy test, The fight with Amelia, Hannah's house, Owen's help and Even the new job. Spilling her truth to her mother for the first time in her entire life, it was time Payten openly admitted she needed help. Throughout Payten's rant, Addison had sat there completely silent trying to absorb all of what the girl was telling her without much reaction or judgement. When she was finished Addison took a deep breath and pulled the girl into another tight hug.

"Payten.. When i say this it is without any criticism ok? Addison stated

"Ok.." The girl said unsure of her mother's thoughts.

"Ok, honestly baby. I think you got ahead of yourself. You thought that you could handle the boys and drugs and alcohol. Like every teenager, you made some mistakes and didn't realize how significant the consequences can be. It doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you human. But you are only 16 P! Running away from home and the people that love and care about you.. That's not a good idea. We were so worried about you.. I can't even begin to describe that feeling… But it's over now. You have to start afresh, set your record straight.. It's not all about you anymore." Addison said gesturing to Paytens abdomen and smiling slightly.

"I know mom, thank you… i'm so sorry i just needed time.." Payten confessed shyly.

"One more thing.. Amelia." Addison said raising her eyebrows at the girls confused expression, "She has been a mess, she feels so guilty and that isn't on her P." Addison stated.

"I will sort that out, i promise." Payten said genuinely.

"Good.. I'm so happy to have you back my girl!" She said hugging the girl for the upteempth time.

Payten giggled a little before asking her mother about the ultrasound to which Addison readily agreed to perform immediately. Addison performed the ultrasound perfectly as per usual and informed the girl that the baby was healthy and around 12 weeks gestation.

Once Addison had wiped the girl's stomach that the gel had momentarily covered. she filled out a prescription for Diclegis for the morning sickness and also a variety of prenatal supplements before handing the piece of paper to Payten.

"I assume you are coming home tonight?" Addison asked seriously.

"Yeah… do you mind if i go thank Hannah and her mom? I have to pick up some stuff from there as well.." The girl asked shyly

"Of course.. Do you maybe wanna wait around here? I worked all night, i finish in half an hour. I only have one more patient to see then we are free." Addison yawned

"Sounds good." Payten smiled noticing her mom's face turn stoic suddenly

"Are you planning on keeping the baby?" Addison asked curiously.

Payten looked a little caught off guard but answered her mother anyway "Yeah.. i thought you kinda already knew?" Payten eyed her mother with disbelief.

"You are just like your father." Addie giggled kissing the girl on the forehead "I really don't wanna leave you but i have to go." She wrapped her daughter in a tight hug then hopped off the hospital bed to leave the room "I'll meet you at the lobby, 30 minutes!" She yelled out as she left.

"I'm ready to close,You about done, Kepner?" Owen asked through his scrub mask.

"Almost" Kepner replied "Then I'll let Wilson close."

"Thank you, ." Jo grinned.

"Okay, update me when you're done." Owen said finishing up his sutures.

"He's de-satting" April stressed.

"What is it? Uh, it's not me." Owen looked confused "Field is clear. There's no bleeders."

"Nothing here." April searched

"Tube's intact. No leaks." Wilson informed

"Check his pupils." Owen ordered

"No response." Wilson stated

"Oh, damn it." Owen exhaled

"Damn it, damn it, Bret." Kepner sighed deeply taking off her mask.

"Did he throw a clot?" Jo asked.

"We won't know until we get him up to C.T. Page neuro, ask them to meet us post-op." Owen instructed the scrub nurse.

"We had him" April stutterd.

"We had him" Owen agreed.

15 minutes later, Owen was met with a tired looking Amelia staring into a C.T scan. Approaching her from behind he wrapped his strong arms around the petite womans waist, inhaling the strong coconut and lime scent of her hair. Amelia's shoulders shot up in surprise and then relaxed into her man's well structured chest letting out a lengthy breath.

"He's brain dead" She let out softly closing her eyes.

"I'll let the family know Amei" He swayed side to side with Amelia wrapped in his arms.

"I don't wanna fight anymore O" She said turning in his arms and looking into his sea blue eyes.

Owen took in the look on Amelia's face and was immediately showered with emotions of guilt and remorse. He had kept something huge from her and knew that if he didn't tell her, it would eat him alive.

"Mia… i brought Payten in for a checkup this morning. She needed me and i helped her. I was being her doctor… Not her aunties boyfriend and i understand if you hate me right now" Owen spoke clearly and fast feeling Amelia's body tense.

Amelia looked closely at the nervous looking man for a brief moment before placing both hands on either side of his chubby cheeks and tiptoeing to place a loving kiss on his lips, wrapping her arms back around his mid abdomen.

"Thank you" Amelia let out just above a whisper.

"Hannah, I have no idea what i would do without you." Payten said throwing her large duffel bag over her shoulder and grasping her best friends hands, "If you ever need _anything_ please let me know." Payten told the girl sincerely.

"Yeah whatever red.. stay out of trouble yeah? And visit whenever you want! don't forget to text and call me ok?" Hannah said pulling Payten into a goodbye hug.

"I promise i will text everyday!" Payten said slowly backing out of the house.

"Bye Payten!" Hannah's mother Sonja yelled from the kitchen.

"Bye Sonja! Thank you so much again! I will see yous all soon i'm sure!" Payten hollered back before waving again to Hannah and stepping out of the small townhouse, jumping back in Addie's car.

Starting the car up and slowly backing out the drive, the two decided they would head home for a few hours rest before setting up an arrangement with Paytens immediate family like Amelia and Derek to announce her belated return. As they headed home, Addison had received an unexpected call from Derek as he invited her to eat with himself, Amelia and Owen. Cringing internally. _Great_. Payten thought to herself, this was going to happen a lot sooner than she had hoped.


	6. Hate is a strong word

Hey everyone, new chapters up. Just letting you all know now that it is rated M so stop here if that's not something you are into. Also this story at the moment is based in season 12, with Owen and Amelia. Everything and everyone is the same except Addison never left and Derek never died. I will probably do a flashback at some point to explain that all but yeah. I will post within the next few days when i have access to a computer again. All credit to ABC and Shondaland.

Pulling into restaurant Casablanca, Payten tried to control her shaky hands by placing each hand under each thigh, noticing her nervousness when the car was halted and put in park, Addison turned to her daughter and pulled a stray hair behind the young girl's ear now revealing her flowing tears.

"What's the matter?" Addison asked softly.

Now unable to stop her tears the girl put her head in her hands and began to simultaneously sob and speak not making any sense to Addison.

"Baby, calm down please. Take some deep breaths and tell me what's wrong" Addison instructed.

Trying desperately to pull herself together, Payten was able to muster the words "They hate me" before balling her eyes out.

Letting out a sigh as she could see the trio that was waiting for her in her peripheral vision not knowing Payten was with her slowly approaching the car. Addison gently rubbed the girl's back as she had always done when the girl was distressed.

"There is no way in this world that your father could ever hate you, he made you, you are him. You have always been mini-Derek, Daddies little angel! He is hurt yes, he may be mad but he has that right doesn't he?" Addison said questioning the girl.

Payten nodded her head still in her hands, calming herself down by taking deep breaths in and out.

"And Amelia… Well even though me and Amelia haven't always seen eye to eye, I know she loves you just as much as me and your dad. You are her best friend and you really broke her heart but she would never hate you! She would hate that thought even being in your head!" Addison reassured the now silent teen as her husband knocked loudly on the driver's side window causing both of them jump in surprise.

Derek had not realised what Addie was doing or why she was taking so long to get out of the car, when he saw her jump back in surprise he got a surprise himself. Seeing his daughter for the

first time in 3 months made his jaw drop.

Cracking her door open a little bit Addison looked up at her husband with a worried and warning glare to which Derek nodded understanding exactly what she meant.

Although angry, relief ran through his veins for the first time in months. He knew what she did was wrong and unacceptable but all he wanted to do was pick her up and spin her around in a bear hug. He had missed her so much. He couldn't necessarily blame the girl for running, it came with being a Shepherd although considered their biggest flaw.

Shutting the door fully Addison shifted to face Payten, "Do you want to do this? Rip off the bandage?" Addison asked.

Wiping the black mascara tracks from her cheeks Payten nodded and muttered a soft "Rip off the bandage."

Stepping out of the car Addison walked over to the entrance to meet the rest of the group, Payten taking a few seconds to pull herself together followed her mom shortly after. Approaching the waiting group alone made her heart beat faster as her anxiety peaked again. Awkwardly standing a few metres in front of them she balanced on her heels trying to think of what to say as they had not realised she was there yet. Psyching herself out and cursing herself under her breath Payten turned to go back to the car. This was a bad idea.

Addison noticed the girl just as she was turning to leave and called out her name catching the attention of them all.

Payten stopped and slowing span around cursing herself again as they all knew she was trying to escape "Oh, there yous are" Payten smirked at her mother walking back to the group.

Paytens simple but very Payten like comment made everyone laugh and reminded them all how much they had missed this crazy, funny girl. Derek the first to approach her didn't care much about formalities and enveloped her in a hug a warm and loving hug, whispering words of wisdom in the 16 year old's ear. A few tears had slipped from the both of them and they went back to the rest of them.

Shyly looking towards Amelia as she was deep in conversation with Owen, Payten stayed in Derek's side and entered the restaurant. As they found a seat and waited for the couple to join them, they ordered a round of beverages and had a good conversation about Paytens new job.

"You know you don't _need_ a job" Derek said sipping on his iced tea.

"Derek.." Addison sighed.

"What Addison?" Derek looked at her questionably.

Ignoring Derek and talking to her daughter, "I think that it will be good to be earning some of your own money" Addison affirmed.

"You have a lifetime for that yet, All your life you will work and make money. Why don't you make memories? You are still young Payten, 90% of your time now will be spent working. Why not wait while you can? We will give you more allowance if that's what you need." Derek stated.

Payten knew this conversation would come up eventually and she hated the money topic. She wanted to be able of provide for herself and her child and say that she earned it instead of it being given to her like everything else. "Dad.. I want to earn my own money, I want to be able to say that I could. And provide for my child _on my own._ "

Derek choked a little on the words " _My child",_ Taking a deep breath "So you are keeping the baby.. that's uhhh.. yeah.. hmm.. good news?" he looked between Addison and Payten who both nodded.

"Yes I am. And I have a lot more to tell you guys just.. not yet." Payten explained.

"So what about school? You start again in a month" Derek asked seriously.

"School… I haven't even thought about it.." Payten confessed.

"Well you still need to go" Addison pointed out, "Why don't I talk to Bailey, she has some awesome contacts for Nannies once the baby is born."

"I'm meaning with this full time job." Derek said blankly still trying to convince the girl that she couldn't do it.

Just then Owen approached the threesome and apologised on behalf of Amelia as she wouldn't be joining them and informed them that he had to return to the hospital for an important meeting he forgot about.

"Hmmm.." Derek eyed Owen suspiciously as he left.

"Told you she hates me." Payten shrugged taking a sip of her drink.

"She does not hate you. Derek tell her Amelia doesn't hate her." Addison nudged him.

"Your aunty loves you, you know Aims, Payten. I think you should speak to her privately. She's been hurting the most since you left, I think she feels.. responsible for it." Derek informed her.

Payten took in a deep breath and the three continued their pointless banter.

The few weeks after Payten's return were bliss, Addison and Derek got the daughter from before the parties and drugs and alcohol back which at one point in their lives they never thought was possible. Payten had started her new job and was loving it, she had arrange for her to work full-time till school started and weekends only when school was back on. Once the baby was born, she would still be going to school and working most likely only on Sundays. Of course Addison and Derek would be paying for the Nanny or taking care of the baby themselves. Everything was early but they wanted to be prepared, it takes a village. As her 16 week scan was approaching so was Josh's release date. She still visited him often and invited him along to the scan as well, he was just as excited as she was and wanted to find his own place and job when he got out. Optimistic but would need to work his ass off to get it, something Addison and Derek couldn't rely on him to do.

Amelia and Payten had still not reconciled and Amelia seemed to be avoiding the whole family. Payten planned to see her many times but always chickened out. Owen had encouraged the interaction between the two but both were too stubborn to make the first move. Amelia although not ready to see Payten just yet, still made Owen keep a close on how she was.

"Why don't you just go talk to her?" Owen stated randomly.

"I'm just about to clip this aneurysm , are you suggesting I leave this O.R and leave my patient for dead?" Amelia fumed.

"Uhhh No, Dr. Shepherd. I was speaking to my Girlfriend" Owen said ignoring her sharp tone.

Amelia peered over the top of her glasses with a stoic look on her face, "Well, your Girlfriend is about to clip an aneurysm and doesn't have time for talking to or about her irresponsible niece."

"Touchè" Owen shrugged, "What about after?"

Amelia exhaled loudly "Are you nearly finished ? This room doesn't need the extra bodies"

Owen chuckled "Scrubbing out now" he said holding his hands up in resignation.

Both Addison and Derek were getting ready to leave for the night as they saw Amelia approach the attendings lounge with Owen, obviously bickering. The couples greeted one another and Derek pulled Amei aside to have a one on one conversation while Owen and Addison stood awkwardly by the lockers.

"What's up?" Amelia asked her brother slightly annoyed.

"How are you? I haven't seen you or talked to you properly in weeks." Derek confronted her.

"I'm fine, I don't think it's been that long" Amelia rolled her eyes.

"Well it has.. 3 weeks. She's been back 3 weeks and you's still haven't talked" Derek pointed out.

Amelia shrugged a little "Yeah well.. hmm.. I don't know what to say to her.. she hates me"

Derek laughed softly "She said the same thing about you, that text she sent. She said she regretted it deeply and that it was in a moment of rage and I believe her."

"I could never hate her" Amelia gave a baffled look.

"And vice versa" Derek stated.

Amelia stayed silent for a few seconds then agreed to organize something with her niece.

"Night guys" Owen waved to Addison and Derek.

"You really care about her don't you?" Amelia said facing Owen.

Owen's eyes glistened "She's a great kid."

"Let's get married." Amelia said seriously while her hands roamed his back.

"Whaaa.. For real?" He looked down at the crazy, beautiful lady in his arms.

"Is that a yes?" She smirked.

"Yes of course" He bent down kissing her lips repeatedly.

"So Payten is staying at Hannah's tonight." Derek said seductively into his wife's ear.

"Mmmm.. Is that right" Addison perked up as Derek's lips began to roam Addison's neck.

Addison's hands began to feel Derek's very muscular back and shoulder blades as his hands roamed under her shirt. Stripping off their t-shirts, Addison unzipped her pencil skirt and was left only in panty hoes and heels.

Derek sprawled out on there bed and bit his bottom lip as his erection became even more obvious through his open fly.

"Mmm" Addison moaned when she saw his bulge.

She made her way over to the bed and seductively kissed from his lips to his chest to his belly button, stopping to unbuckle his jeans and strip him down. As his solid erection stood strong, Addison grabbed it and begin to tease him slowly. Derek simply enjoying himself laid back ecstatic. Taking his full length into her mouth and working her magic, Derek could feel himself growing with anticipation. As her head bobbed up and down he knew he was about to bust.

"Addie" he growled seductively.

But she didn't stop, instead going faster and reaching between her own legs to please herself. When he saw her do that he immediately pulled her off him and rolled ontop to do it for her. Burying two fingers deep within her and pumping hard, she could feel her walls clenching within seconds and made claw marks on her husbands back in pleasure. Her orgasmn was intense and she could barely breath, Derek still not finished slid into her wetness with ease and began to pound her hard and fast giving himself his first orgasmn and Addison her second.

As the pair lay next to eachother in bed reminiscing about their lovemaking Addison pointed out it had been their first time in awhile.

"That was.."

"Amazing.." Derek finished for her.

Jumping up from the bed and sprinted into the rooms ensuite throwing up.

"Ouch way to bruise my ego" Derek called out.

Hearing the shower turn on, Derek assumed it was an invitation for round two.

Entering the bathroom he quickly learned that it was not in fact what he thought. He looked down at his pale wife sitting on the ground in the shower, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs as the hot water ran over her slender body.

"I don't feel well" Addison spoke softly.

Laughing a little at the obviousness of the situation, "You don't look too well either, is it something you ate maybe?" Derek sought out.

Shaking her head slowly, "Nah uh.. i think it's a nasty stomach bug" she rocking slowly.

Within minutes she felt strong arms embracing her from behind. Derek had stripped down to lovingly comfort his sick wife.

"Addison Montgomery, i met her in the summer she was cutting up a very dead body. And in her eyes i saw my life, i knew that she would be my wife and she would breathe the life back into me, for every day until eternity. Or until i'd be as dead as that body." He sang peacefully into Addison's ear as the two giggled at the goofy love song.

Payten was supposed to be going straight from work to Hannah's place, that was until she got a text from Amelia who was hoping to meet up. The girl explained in a text that she finished at 7 and would reschedule plans with Hannah. Amelia said that she would pick Payten up and they could go out to eat and she would drop her at Hannah's, Home or she could stay the night with her. Not sure about how the evening would go with Amelia, she ignored the message and would decide later. As her shift was rounding up, Payten grabbed her belongings and said her round of goodbyes as she had the weekend off. Payten immediately spotted Amelia and approached her cautiously from behind.

"Hey.." Payten said softly

Amelia let out a relieved sigh, "Hey kid."

Payten pulled her shorter aunty into a tight hug and the two laughed at how petty they had been to one another. How could they have avoided this for so long when all they craved was each other. Walking throughout the mall with their arms linked the two laughed and chatted like old times.

"I have some news" Amelia smiled proudly, "Me and Owen are getting married." Amelia smiled broadly.

"OMG! congratulations!" they two shared a quick embrace then continued their hunt for a place to eat finally settling on their old usual _Mama Stortini's._

Amelia order her usual chicken and mushroom ravioli, Payten deciding to switch up mainly due to pregnancy cravings, ordered the hot crab and artichoke melt. Amelia gave Payten a disbelieving look and Payten shrugged, "What?"

"Artichoke?" Amelia laughed

"According to this one, Artichoke sounds _amazing_." Payten explained.

While waiting for their meals to arrive the two enter the conversation they were bound to endure.

"So i'm going to be a great aunt huh? That makes me feel… old." Amelia grimaced.

" Oh gosh nooo.. don't call yourself that please. Just Aunt Amelia will do" the two giggled.

"I'm sorry i told your mother before you had the chance to talk with her, it was unfair for me.." Amelia began to apologize before Payten cut her off.

"No, that was not your wrongdoing it was mine. For so long i was caught up in the wrong things. It was completely _my_ fault. Don't ever blame yourself. I was messed up, i had been for awhile. This is the best thing that could've happened to me, i was going nowhere and i would probably be dead or in rehab if it wasn't for this baby, i know that now. I love you, you are my biggest inspiration in life. _I am sorry._ "

Teary eyed Amelia nodded in response for a few seconds, "Love you too Kid."


	7. Chapter 11

**Here it is! Loved working on this chapter! Let me know what you think, hope you enjoy and stay tuned ;)**

 **Also i want to kinda portray the Amelia/Payten relationship the same as Caterina and her niece because to me they seem very close!**

 **Disclaimer: Only own my O'Cs.**

"Hey, Mom. Are you like.. Ok?" Payten questioned curiously standing outside the master bedroom's ensuite. Hearing her mother's inaudible voice then, the all knowing sound of someone being sick. She knocked again softly before entering the room.

"Oh God." Payten said slamming her arm over her nose and mouth dramatically in disgust. "I'm calling Dad." She stated before pulling out her phone out to dial Derek's number. Ignoring Addison's pointless pleas for secrecy.

"Payten, I'm in surgery. What's wrong?" Derek's frustrated voice came through the line.

"Oh sorry… Mom's sick." Payten informed.

After a few seconds of pause, "There done. , Can you close then follow through to post-op?"

"Of course Sir." Edwards agreed eagerly.

"If any complications arise, Page my sister." Derek instructed before informing Payten he will be no longer than half an hour.

Hanging up the phone, Payten grabbed a clean washcloth and ran it under warm water, pressing it on her mother's forehead, Addison complained, "This is a gnarly bug, I don't want to get you sick aswell P."

"Shush, I'll be fine." Payten spoke softly, holding a hand out to take Addie back to bed.

After settling in, Addison began to slowly fall asleep again. With being up for most of the night, it wasn't hard for her to fall into a deep sleep within a few minutes. Payten wandered aimlessly downstairs in search of something to keep her occupied for the time until her dad got home. She set up the DVR and grabbed herself a bowl of Olives and a can of Anchovies and settled into the couch watching reruns of American Horror Story, before falling asleep herself.

Derek rushed to open the door, pushing it open and stepping inside, he immediately noticed the silence. Closing the door quietly, he wondered into the lounge and found his little girl curled up in a ball with a blanket beside her on the ground. Derek placed the blanket back over the girl before kissing her forehead and heading to check on Addison. As Derek entered the room Addison began to stir confused,

"Der?" She let out softly.

"Yep, I'm sorry i woke you Addie," Derek said walking to sit next to her on the edge of the bed.

As soon as Derek reached the bed, Addison grabbed for his hand and pulled him down to her. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she began to weep softly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Derek cooed.

Sniffling and letting out a shaky breath, "I just feel really sick Der." Addison confessed.

Derek slowing rubbing up and down Addison's back, calmed her down and jumped into the bed spooning her from behind. Wrapping his arms around her from behind, Derek got a shock noticing how much thinner she felt.

"You have lost a lot of weight!" Derek exclaimed worried.

Shrugging her shoulders, "I suppose. I haven't really noticed,"

"You didn't sleep much last night," Derek stated.

"I was just restless and nauseous," Addison said turning in his arms to face him.

"You need to go to the doctors," Derek said running his hand over her still wet cheeks.

"Can't you just prescribe me some Anzemet or Zofran and Restoril? Maybe some Flucloxacillin?" Addison reasoned.

Putting his hand over her forehead, Derek frowned, "You don't have a temp."

Groaning, Addison snuggled closer into Derek's chest, "If i don't feel better by tomorrow, i promise i will go. But can you just lie here with me for awhile?"

Derek rested his head on top of Addison's until she fell back to sleep.

Forgetting to set an alarm, Payten woke 45 minutes before her 16 week ultrasound appointment. Payten ran upstairs to her bedroom and got ready in 5 minutes flat. As she was changing, she took a look in the mirror admiring her growing bump. Rubbing her hand over her stomach, she smiled. Her phone sounded as a text from Josh appeared on the screen letting her know he was on his way over. Owen had arranged a meeting between Josh and for a job interview for the position of an orderly, Josh had fortunately gotten the job. Mainly due to the influence of 3 head of departments, Addison, Derek and Owen. Which of course was silent peer pressure. Payten sent a quick text back then dialled her aunties number,

"Hey! I having been trying to call for the last 100 hours," Amelia exaggerated.

Rolling her eyes and giggling, Payten apologised for the calls she had missed, "So, you are coming right?" Payten confirmed.

"To see peanut? Of course!" Amelia joked.

"Great. I'm coming in with Josh.. be nice," Payten warned knowing Amelia wasn't very fond of her ex-boyfriend.

"Always. See you then kid." Amelia said before ending the call.

Payten threw on her khaki puffer jacket and tiptoed down the hall toward her parents room. Slowly cracking the door open, the room was dark and both her parents were fast asleep. Sighing disappointed but knowing her mother was really sick, she decided not to wake them for the appointment and instead would surprise them with plenty of 3 and 4D the beep of the horn, Payten made her way outside.

"Hey," Josh greeted sweetly "You look… good."

Grinning, "You are such a flirt." Payten laughed getting into the passenger side of the car.

Josh had really matured since he found out about that they were expecting, like he had said. He had his own little apartment in downtown Seattle, close to Payten and the hospital. He had even set up furniture and had brought unisex clothes all for the nursery. Payten didn't know what to think about the two as a couple, for now she did enjoy his company as a friend. Now that she thought of it, majority of her time was either spent with only her family or Josh. She had lost connection with all of her "friends" when they found out she was pregnant. Payten didn't mind too much. She had only hung around with druggies or drunks. People she didn't want anywhere near her child.

Pulling into the hospital, Josh unconsciously gazed at Payten's bump for a few seconds,

"You good?" Payten shoved his shoulder playfully.

"This is real…" Josh studded.

"As real as a dollar bill," Payten winked.

"I'm so sorry Payten.. i know i've said it before, and i will keep saying it. If i could just... go back," Josh said fiddling with his hands before Payten gently grabbed one of them and placed it on her bump.

"Listen, we have to raise this little peanut together for the next 18 years. Don't worry. What's done is done Josh. This kid will just have to put up with two very unconventional parents," Payten smiled.

Feeling better, the pair jumped out of the car and made their way to the hospital's OB/GYN unit. Already waiting, Amelia was holding 3 coffee cups. One containing chamomile tea for Payten. Everyone greeted each other and made small talk in the waiting area,

"Where's your folks?" Amelia asked sipping on her coffee.

"Mom's really sick. She's been sick for awhile actually! And Dad was resting with her. i didn't want to wake them," Payten informed her aunt.

"Oh gosh.. sick how?" Amelia grimaced.

"Vomiting and really bad fatigue.. She is always tired. but weird. She hasn't been sleeping for longer than an hour at a time," Payten said with a hint of worry.

"That doesn't sound very good. Try convince her to come in," Amelia said knowing it will be a struggle.

"Huh! Like when you were bedridden last year for 2 weeks!" Payten laughed, "Yeah, you know how that'll go down."

Turning to Josh, She let him in on the joke that doctors are the worst at admitting they need medical treatment.

The trio huddled in the small treatment room and chatted as the resident doctor on call, set up all the ultrasound equipment. Spreading the thick gel over Payten's belly, Warren ran the transducer over it aswell.

After a few minutes, Warren let everybody know the baby was thriving and within expected growth margins.

"Were you's wanting to know the sex?" Warren grinned.

Looking at each other, both Payten and Josh were smiling, "Is it possible for you to write it down so that my parents and everyone can all find out at the same time?" Payten asked politely.

"That's fine, here you go." Warren handed the folded piece of paper to Josh as he congratulated the "couple" mistakenly.

"Oh we aren't together.." Josh blushed embarrassed.

"Oh.. my apologies." Warren corrected himself, "Congratulations to both of you."

Amelia noticing the loving glances between Payten and Josh, rolled her eyes knowingly. As the exam concluded, Amelia and Josh excused themselves to give Payten privacy to change and speak to Warren about any concerns or worries. She also requested to get a few ultrasound images of the baby. She and Addison had planned to have a small get together with all their family and friends to announce the gender within the few days to come. Thanking Warren and exiting the room, she wandered back over to where Amelia and Josh were patiently waiting.

"You wanna ride with me home? Owen's making some kinda curry thing for dinner," Amelia asked.

"Sounds good, But i think i'm gonna go check on the rents. I will text you the details about the gender reveal," Payten winked.

"Oh the big reveal! Definitely a boy," Amelia hummed. She had secretly made a bet with Derek about the gender of the baby and eventually everyone they knew had made a bet. She was now looking at a $400 profit if her guess was correct.

"Mhmmm." Payten rolled her eyes before giving her Aunt a hug goodbye.

"You ready to go?" Josh asked politely.

"Yep." Payten smiled as Josh guided her out of the exam room with his palm on the small of her back.

The party began the weekend after Payten's 16 week ultrasound and majority of her Grey-Sloan aunts and uncles were expected to come. As the guests had arrived and the party was underway, it was time to cut the cake that would have either _pink_ (representing a girl) or _blue_ (representing a boy) filling in the middle. Payten and Josh held the knife together and celebrated when the center was revealed as being blue. Although ecstatic it was in fact a boy. Derek was now $50 down due to his bet with Amelia.

"Goddamit Amy, how the hell are you always right with these things?" Derek sighed handing over his $50 wagger to Amelia discreetly as did Avery, Karev, Hunt, Webber, Robbins, Torres and Edwards.

Walking back over to Derek, Amelia placed her left hand on his right shoulder,

"Boys hang low, Girls stay high and tight." Amelia let him in on her "sixth sense" of detecting a baby's gender.

"A grandson," Derek pondered the idea out loud.

"That's right grandaddy," Amelia bumped her shoulder into his softly as the two smiled at their girl.

Payten was grinning ear to ear, thankful for the turn out of all her favourite people. It was only fair she made a speech.

"I would just like to say, Thank you all so much for being here today, it means so much to Me and Josh. I am well aware it takes a village to raise a child and i know that you are all _my_ village, and me and my little man are yours." She concluded sincerely.

Turning back to each other and smiling, the siblings conversed about an upcoming surgery they would be working on together.

After eating and celebrating, the party rounded up fairly quickly. Addison who had spent majority of her time in the bathroom felt a sharp pain penetrating her chest. Unable to breath, panic set in and she found herself holding onto the side of the bathtub for dear life. After the wash of pain and fear, Addison tried to stand up without using the bathtub or railings in the bathroom for support. Immediately feeling dizzy and unstable, she slid down the door and stared at her hands that looked fuzzy. Scared but reasonable, it was probably just the lack of sleep mixed with dehydration and the really bad migraine that had occurred due to all the noise and people.

"Deep breaths Addison, Deep breaths." she hummed to herself.

With a small smile forming on her lips, Payten walked towards Josh and gently pulled him away from the dishes, leading him upstairs to the old study. The room was filled with cabinets waiting to be assembled, a changing table, a carriage and some painting tools.

"This will be his room," Payten gazed around silently.

"I can help set it all up, if you want.. or not. I'm here though," Josh studded.

Laughing, "I think his grandad will be upset if i don't let him do all this stuff. But thanks i will keep that in mind," Payten said sincerely.

"We are having a boy!" Josh grinned.

"Yeah and i have absolutely no names," Payten chuckled.

Thinking for a minute, "Nicholas?" Josh suggested.

"Niko?" Payten pondered.

"I knew a Niko, total douche.." Josh grimaced.

"Hmmm… what about Samuel?" Payten said making herself comfortable leaning against the wall.

"Might aswell call him Sam.. We have plenty of time Shep," Josh considered.

"How about last names?" She asked making a face.

"Well.. would you mind abbreviating it?" Josh asked shyly.

"Of course not, Josh. So baby Shepherd-Stanley or Stanley-Shepherd?" She asked not minding either.

"Stanley-Shepherd. It will be better for him, us Stanley's don't have the best track records," Josh joked.

"I'm sure that's not true," Payten frowned.

"Unfortunately it is," Josh said lightly not wanting to talk much about his family.

"Stanley-Shepherd it is then." Payten said moving off the wall to leave the room.

Josh grabbed her forearm softly and Payten turned to face him. As they both went in for a kiss, Derek, Owen and Amelia entered room. Both teens jumped back in shock and embarrassment as their cheeks blushed fiercely.

"Oh Ugh.. sorry guys.." Derek said sheepishly.

"I told you Owen!" Amelia squealed as Owen handed over another $20 grumbling. Smirking Amelia tucked the note into her back pocket and high fived Josh who awkwardly made the interaction.

"Amei, leave the poor boy alone." Owen said shaking his head as Amelia did her "happy dance".

"We'll see you tomorrow Pay," Amelia winked, "Bye, Josh." She smirked as she left the nursery followed by Owen and Derek.

Standing back in her old position against the wall with her head in her hands, Payten giggled. Her family were idiots.

"I'm sorry about that.." She said sincerely.

"No problem. I think it'll be best for us both if i go now. Talk to you later." He said giving her a soft peck on the cheek before leaving the room. A kiss she wouldn't' stop thinking about until the next one.

"Did you have a good day?" Addison inquired, not wanting to ruin her girls happy bubble by admitting that she felt like absolute crap.

"A really good day, Mom. I just wish Bizzy could of been here," Payten frowned.

"You know she would be if she could be," Addison said running her hand over her daughter's head that was leaning against her shoulder.

"I know. And i was thinking.." Payten said trailing off in the tone that she wanted something.

Sensing the tone, Addison rolled her eyes, "What do you want P?"

Sitting up, Payten begged her mother to be able to go and stay with Carolyn, Derek's mother before the baby is born.

"Please Mom. I talked to Aunt Liz and she said she can pick me up and i can stay with her, Nan and Aunt Nancy. Aunt Stephanie is coming up for Nan's birthday and i am going to convince Amei to come as well." Payten pleaded.

"I'm not saying No, but what about the baby? You can't fly after 28 weeks and you are already 17! By the time you go there and stay for awhile, we would've missed your whole pregnancy!" Addison reasoned.

"Mom, you guys can come _with_ me." Payten explained as if the answer was obvious.

"We have jobs, so do you as a matter of fact. Besides, you have so much to prepare for Payten," Addison said now leaning against the backboard with growing pain in her chest.

"Argh, fine!" Payten said scowling and abruptly storming out of the room.

Hearing the commotion upstairs, Derek made his way to the master bedroom. Hearing his wife in the bathroom being sick. Derek found Addison and held her hair out of her face as she puked. Standing back up and wrapping her arms around him, she felt a little better.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Derek asked sweetly.

Shaking her head No, Addison began to cry.

"You aren't pregnant, are you?" He said finally asking the question he had been thinking to himself for the last few weeks.

Shaking her head No, Derek felt a little relieved. Bearing her own weight and leaning off her husband, she felt Derek reach out to wipe her tears. Swallowing deeply she admitted to him and to herself the inevitable truth,

"Derek.. I found a lump."

 **A/N- murppp.. i love Addek so much, but i feel like this needed to happen for the sake of the story. I wish i didn't have to but i do and it is going to keep this story going! Hope you all enjoyed! Reviews will be helpful for any suggestions! Thank you all.**


	8. Chapter 12

This story took so long to update and I am so sorry! I hope someone is going to read it!

Disclaimer- Shonda owns.

The air breezed past the young couple huddled under the thin plaid blanket on one of Seattle's infamous ferryboats. Shivering slightly, Payten tucked both arms into her chest as Josh embraced her in the attempt to supply her with more warmth. Payten's small round bump was covered protectively by her hands. The two were on their way to visit Addison who had been admitted to hospital for severe dehydration and also to get the large lump on her breast checked out, something they all prayed wasn't cancer. Letting out a soft breath, Payten looked up to Josh,

"It's… sss...soo..cold." she stuttered.

Josh frowned at his lovers blue lips, tilting his head to kiss them softly,

"Not long now." He said rubbing his hand up and down her spine.

Once the two had gotten off the ferry boat, they ordered a taxi and made the short distance from the dock to the hospital.

Addison's room was on the fourth floor and Payten told Josh to go find her aunt Amelia who was somewhere around the surgical wing of the hospital.

Once Payten had found the room her father had instructed, she entered quietly. The room was dim and quiet with two figures lying in the same bed. Payten made her way towards the two and sat sheepishly on the lazy-boy next to the bed. She realised she had made more noise than she intended when both her parents eyes shot open and Derek let out a sleepy yawn.

"Sorry for waking you," Payten sighed taking her mother's hand into her own.

Addison squeezed the young girl's hand in retaliation and a smile spread across her face to have her daughter there with her.

"It's fine P, how was the ride over?" Addison asked.

"It was cold, it doesn't make me miss New York." The girl shivered in remembrance of her brutal childhood winters.

This earned a laugh from both Derek and Addison, "Now those were some cold days," Derek chuckled.

"Do you feel better?" Payten asked stroking her mother's hand.

"I do, a lot better. They put in an I.V about an hour ago and it feels like I am alive again. The doctor will be here in a minute." Addison informed the girl.

Addison glanced over at her daughter that was deep in her thoughts and squeezed her hand softly,

"Don't worry about it okay? everything will be fine."

Uncontrollable tears starting to stream down Payten's face and her head dropped into her hands as she began to let it all out. Addison stroked the girl's hair in the hopes of calming her down but when this didn't work, she sat up ripping the cords from her arms and face with Derek protesting beside her and grabbed Payten. Pulling her into her arms, the pregnant teen felt a sense of relief.

"I don't want you to die, you can't die," Payten cried.

"Oh honey, I am fine. I was only dehydrated, where is this coming from?" Addison assured her grown baby.

Entering the room at this moment, Josh and Amelia both made a face and decided to wait outside for awhile.

"So, Are you excited to be a dad?' Amelia grinned testing the boy.

"Ughh, yeah i'm stoked," Josh replied wary.

"Do you have any other kids nobody knows about?" She joked with a stern expression.

"No ma'am," He swallowed.

Just as Amelia was about to speak, she was spun around into the arms of Owen Hunt from behind. Putting her back down on her feet Owen and Amelia shared a quick peck and she stayed within his arms.

"Don't let her rark you up Josh," Owen winked at the awkward looking teen.

"I would never do such a thing," Amelia said hitting Owen's arm gently.

"Mhmm," Owen teased.

Back in the hospital room, Addison had managed to calm Payten down and reassured her that she would be fine. She had explained to Payten that she had a blood test to do but the doctor had examined the lump she had found on her breast and found that it was actually Montgomery Tubercles. Which was usually an early sign of pregnancy.

This particular bump was fairly larger and more prominent than one you may usually find. Due to it being clogged though would most likely need to be removed by a plastic surgeon. Of course if it was caused by pregnancy the surgery may need to wait until the baby was born.

Payten sat and took in all the medical jargon her mother was throwing at her, but only understanding the words pregnancy and pregnant. her mother might be pregnant? At the same time as her? She was going to have a sibling?

"Wait wait… you are.. pregnant?" Payten blurted out.

"Maybe.. I need to have a blood test to be sure," Addison answered blatantly.

"But… how? I mean I know how.. but why?" Payten said dumbfounded.

Addison and Derek exchanged a quick glance and Derek truly didn't know what to say. He and Addison never really talked about having more kids and to be honest he didn't really want anymore. He had Payten and she was enough for him.

"Well Payten, there isn't a reason why. We weren't actively trying to have a kid but as you know things just.. happen," Addison explained.

"This is insane… my son is going to have a younger aunt or uncle? I'm pregnant at the same time as my mother," Payten said in disgust.

"We don't know if she's pregnant," Derek said a little too firmly.

Addison looked between the two and shot them both death glares,

"Really? Is that all you're worried about Payten? irrelevant people gossiping about our family?" She hissed.

"It's not that.. it's just.. I don't know, weird." Payten said screwing up her face.

Addison looked over at Derek who was rubbing both of his temples and she could tell that he obviously wasn't pleased either. Just then Arizona entered the room with a portable ultrasound machine.

"I saw you were waiting for an HCG blood test and thought this would be easier for you," Arizona chirped.

"Sure, thanks. You guys can leave," Addison said blankly to Payten and Derek.

Both Derek and Payten tried to protest but eventually apologised and left the room to join the others in the hall.

"Sorry about that Robbins," Addison apologised.

"It's fine, so I'm just gonna apply the gel now and we can see if there is anybody in there," Arizona said gleefully.

After a few seconds of moving the wand over Addison's belly a small heart beat filled the room,

"There is definitely someone in here," Arizona smiled stating the obvious.

Addison looked up at the small screen where her baby filled the centre and started to cry uncontrollably, Arizona didn't notice it wasn't happy crying until Addison was gasping for air.

"Oh god Addison, calm down. Breathe, just breathe." Arizona encouraged grabbing an oxygen mask from above Addison's head and placing it over her mouth.

After a few seconds of deeply breathing in and out, Addison managed to calm herself down and Arizona waited patiently at the end of her bed for when she wanted to talk.

"They don't want this baby.. Derek he.. he.." Addison stutterd crying and speaking at the same time.

"Shhh.. calm down Addie.." Robbins said soothingly.

After a few more breaths, Addison wiped the tears from her cheeks and fiddled with the wedding band on her left hand.

"He doesn't want another kid. Payten doesn't want a sibling. No doubt Amelia won't want another niece or nephew. I just don't know what to do," Addison said and Arizona could tell she was devastated.

"So what? I know Payten is your daughter and always will be, but she has her own family now. She should know what it is like for an unexpected baby to appear without having any plausible reason and Amelia just has to love it and send it home. Derek is a good man and an even better father, his feet may be cold right now but you know he will come around and love this child," Arizona reasoned.

Addison knew what Arizona was saying was true, she just couldn't believe that they had reacted this way in the first place. It was a child, their child. Why wouldn't Derek want another mini him/her around?

"I know, you are right," Addison admitted.

"I know i am too. Now, you should be able to leave once your drip is finished ok? Your baby looks around 6 weeks gestation which is why you will be beginning to notice those Montgomery tubercles a little bit more. It seems as though only one got clogged and that can be fixed with a tiny procedure if you want. Your baby is healthy and only eleven weeks behind your grandson," Arizona ratted off happily.

Addison let out a soft chuckle, I'm 6 weeks pregnant she thought to herself. Great. "Thanks Arizona,"

"Mhmm it's my pleasure, take care of yourself. Try get as much rest as you can, you know how pregnancies can go for older women. We don't want any hiccups ok. I'll see you back here in a month." Arizona said before picking up Addison's patient file and leaving the room.

Derek was just about to enter the room just as Arizona came to the door, she made eye contact with Derek and nodded her head slightly to let him know he should speak to Addison. Derek turned around to Payten and Amelia and asked if they could just give Addison and him a few minutes to talk.

Entering the room Derek took a deep breath, he made his way over to her bed and started pacing in front of it,

"So you are pregnant?" Derek said in an almost irritated voice.

"Yes," Addison answered honestly.

"Ok… I don't know what to say Addie," Derek said running a hand through his hair.

"What do you mean you don't know what to say? I thought we were good? Great even? We are a happily married couple Derek, unless you think otherwise?" Addison yelled back.

"It's not that, I love you, I love P, I love our family and our marriage.. I just don't want another baby," Derek ranted while still pacing.

"Why the hell not? How not? How do you not want to keep your own child!" Addison weeped.

"I didn't say I wanted you to get rid of it Addison, I just need time to adjust. I love you and I love our life and our daughter. I just can't deal with this right now." Derek said looking at Addison dead in the face.

Derek's pov

She just didn't get it did she? He couldn't be responsible for another human being. He put his all into Payten her entire life and she still got messed up. She still did drugs. She still ran away and she still got pregnant. He had failed the one job in the world, to keep her safe. To keep her a kid, to keep her innocence. How could he do that all again when he had failed so miserably the first time?

Just before the yelling turned to screaming on Addison's part, Amelia and Payten burst into the room to see what all the commotion was about,

"You guys ok?" Amelia asked looking between the two for an answer.

Addison wiped the tears that were steadily streaming down her cheeks,

"Derek was just leaving," Addison said before rolling to the other side of the bed so nobody could see her face.

Payten stared confused as to what was going on, "Ok mom, we will be back in half an hour to pick you up ok?" The girl said before walking over to where her mother was laying, placing a soft peck on her cheek before whispering I love you and I'm sorry and leaving the room with her Dad and aunt.

A few weeks had passed since the screaming match at the hospital and somehow news of both the pregnancy and Addison's Montgomery Tubercles had spread all the way back to New York. Why else would he travel all this way to little ol' Seattle then try to win Addison back by performing one of the simplest procedures there was on her. Mark Sloan or "Mc Steamy" as the imbecile residents called him was back and the only thing stopping him was Derek's fist.

"Punching out people on my surgical floor!" Chief Bailey yelled at Derek, "My head of neurosurgery punching out people on my surgical floor!"

"Put the ice pack on your hand," Addison said to Derek calmly,

"My hand is fine!" Derek barked back still seething that his wife's ex lover was invading his territory.

"Put the damn ice on your two million dollar a year hand! Now, would someone tell me what the hell happened?" Bailey demanded.

"That was Mark." Addison told her,

"Who's Mark?" Bailey questioned.

"He and Derek used to work together back in New York. And, um, they, we, were all close friends. Until Derek found us in bed together." Addison admitted hesitantly.

"Did you put your weight behind it?" Bailey asks Derek.

"Yes, chief" Derek said honestly.

"Well, all right then." Bailey said dismissing the two.

As the pair were leaving the office, Derek stormed off leaving Addison to chase after him.

"Derek… Derek please!" Addison called out.

"What Addison! What the hell is Mark Sloan doing here?" Derek said with rage in his eyes.

"Derek, I promise I have no idea why he is here!" Addison begged him to believe her.

"So suddenly after 6 years of trying to fix our marriage, after one fight! Mark is back?" Derek yelled "Coincidentally?"

"You have got to believe me Der, I don't know why he is here and I had no idea that he was coming," Addison said reaching out to touch his arm before he pulled it back forcefully.

"Please don't touch me right now.. I can't even look at you." Derek snapped before leaving Addison standing alone in the middle of the catwalk.

News of the couples fight had spread through the hospital gossip mill as it always did and Amelia had heard from one of the nurse that her other "brother" was in town. She made her way down to the cafeteria in search of him but instead saw him outside by the hospital's coffee cart.

"Hey stranger," Amelia said surprising Mark.

"Amy! You are definitely not 14 years old anymore," Mark said giving Amelia a once over then pulling her into an embrace.

"Gosh, it's been awhile hasn't it. what are you doing here Mark?" Amelia said taking a step back from him.

"Well I've always loved ferry boats," Mark smiled cheekily.

"Ah right.. which one of my sisters told you Addison needed plastic surgery?" Amelia said seeing through his facade.

"It was Kathleen, in my defence I am the best plastic surgeon on the east coast," Mark grinned.

"And that is why I do not tell my sisters anything. It spreads. You know they are good right? Like marriage catalogue, every romantic movie, sickening inlove, good?" Amelia asked him.

"I heard they haven't talked in weeks," He pushed.

"Since when did you listen to hospital gossip?" Amelia challenged.

Mark sighed, "I still love her," He admitted.

"It's been 6 years," Amelia reminded him.

"I still love her," Mark reaffirmed.

"She's pregnant. They are having another kid, Mark. They are going to be grandparents as well. They are happy, you don't stand a chance." Amelia said honestly but empathetically.

"I need her to say that, and then I will leave and never look back.. Payten's pregnant?" This was the first Mark had heard about it.

"Yup, almost 20 weeks. Look, I have to go scrub in on a craniotomy. Try not to get punched in the face again." Amelia said leaving to go back inside the hospital.

"If you see Addie tell her I'm looking for her!" Mark called out to Amelia which she answered with a dismissive hand gesture. Dammit. He had to find her and win her back.

Mark had checked every floor over and over in search of his ex lover while trying to avoid running into any of his other "family members" as he called them. Even though they had stopped being family in everybody else's eyes the night he had slept with Addison. He finally found her tucked away right at the back of the NICU reading some kind of medical journal. Mark immediately noticed her puffy eyes and the tear residue left on her face. He knew she must've been crying.

Making his way over to her he felt as though his stomach was doing somersaults. She looked exactly as she always did, perfect. Her cheeks were a rosy red, her hair was tied back into an elegant bun that looked like it was a hairstyle for the oscars, yet he knew she did it effortlessly. Her eyes a unique shade of blue, glistened as the sun touched her face ever so slightly. She was everything he had ever wanted and more. He just wanted, no, needed her to be his.

Addison looked up from her journal as a large shadow slowly approached her, she had done everything she could to avoid him. He was going to destroy her marriage and her reputation.

"Red," Mark called her by the nickname he had made for her years ago.

Letting out a displeased grunt, Addison got up from her chair to leave the room without acknowledging his presence. Just as she tried to move swiftly past him, he grabbed her by the arm and spun her around. Addison pulled her arm back forcefully,

"Don't touch me, Mark!" She hissed.

"Addie, C'mon talk to me please," Mark begged.

"I have nothing to say to you," Addison spat back before turning away and strutting out of the NICU.

"I love you Addison!" He called out after her.

This made Addison stop in her tracks and turn around to face Mark, "Why are you telling me this now? After 6 years? When me and Derek are finally the family we have tried so long to be? Derek is my husband and you are nothing but the biggest mistake I have ever made." Addison said viciously.

This took Mark back for a second, did she really just say that? "He put those words in your mouth! You know how happy we were together! I can give you everything he can't!" Mark said trying to persuade her.

"No Mark, you can't. Please go home and leave me and my family alone," Addison pleaded.

"You need surgery Red, I flew here to help you," Mark said running out of reasons to talk to her.

"Ugh… who is keeping you updated on my life!" Addison said angrily, "I don't need you to fix me, please I am begging you. Leave me the hell alone!" She said before storming off.

Payten had been putting up with her parents erratic behaviour for the last 3 weeks and she was starting to get sick of it. Everyday at home was like walking on eggshells, at first it hadn't been too bad. They still talked, slept together and all of them would eat dinner together every night but as soon as Derek would see a baby store magazine or the sonogram pictures Addison had hung on the wall, all hell would break loose. Whenever she would try to talk to either of them, they would either snap at her or tell her they weren't in the mood to talk. It was really starting to bother her.

Payten made her way by herself to the hospital and went straight to her father's office. Banging on the door and then barging in to confront her father,

"Dad, I don't care if you are busy. We need to talk," Payten said firmly.

Derek let out a grunt in displeasure, "Excuse me?"

"I don't know why you don't want to talk to mom, but you have to suck it up and apologise," Payten demanded.

"Payten don't come in here and.." Derek started to speak before Payten interrupted him clearly missing the fact that he was starting to get angry.

"No, I'm sick off it. This is supposed to be the happiest times in all of our lives but you go and make it all about yourself!" She ranted, "You and mom make it all about yourselves," she corrected.

"Payten," Derek warned sternly.

"If mom would've just let me go visit nana Carolyn and aunt Nancy then I wouldn't have to put up with the pair of you! But no. I have to stay here and make sure you don't kill each other!" Payten said waving her arms around.

Derek was trying his best to breathe in and out, in hopes of calming himself down before he lost it. He really wasn't in the mood for this, he had just lost it at his wife and punched her ex lover and his ex best friend in the face and now his daughter was here screaming in his face. His ears started to ring from clenching his jaw too tightly while trying to mask his anger.

"Why can you never just apologise! She didn't even do anything wrong! Why do you not want another baby? It will be so cute, they could be like best friends!" Payten said rubbing her belly.

"I'm going to say this once. Get. The. Hell. Out. Of. My. Office!" Derek barked through clenched teeth.

Payten blinked at her father a couple of times, was he talking to her? He had never in 16 years talked to her like that. Never. This man was not her father, or not acting like any father she knew. She hadn't seen him that angry since the day he found her mother and "uncle" Mark in bed together.

"Dad, I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to speak to you like that.. I" Payten said tearing up.

"GO!" Derek yelled louder this time which caused Payten to break down in tears and storm out of his office. "Oh god, what have I done" he mumbled to himself before tears slipped down his own cheeks.

—

Amelia was just coming out of surgery when she was stopped by doctor Webber who was standing with a much younger pretty brown female in navy blue scrubs. She assumed this was the new cardio attending who Richard admitted to her in secrecy was his daughter. Amelia grinned as they approached her, she and Webber became sounding boards for one another after going to AA together. They had become good friends and Amelia loved having someone to talk to about her struggles with and that wouldn't judge her for her temptations.

"Amelia Shepherd, do you know Dr. Maggie Pierce?" Richard asked Amelia.

"Weird, you're the second Dr. Shepherd I've met today." Maggie said making the connection.

"Derek is my brother." Amelia informed her.

"I'm sorry. Is everyone in this hospital somehow related?" Maggie joked.

Amelia looked between Maggie and Webber and laughed,

"I'm gonna leave you two alone. Nice meeting you." She said before carrying on her journey to find Meredith and Alex.

"People! What's with all the evil misery? Huh? Live, and let live." Amelia said to her friends before plonking down in the seat across from Meredith.

"You're cheerful." Meredith stated blankly.

"Oh." Amelia shrugged

"You are. How is that possible?" Alex groaned.

"I scrubbed in on a four hour TBI last night, then I got laid. And now three ambulances are coming in full of bloody broken brains, all who need to be cut open. So I'm cheerful!" Amelia smiled pleased with herself.

"Who is that?" Meredith said while her jaw hung open.

Both Alex and Amelia spun their heads to see who the that, Meredith was talking about was.

"That is Mark Sloan, Derek's old best friend… before he slept with Addison," Amelia filled her in.

"That is Mark Sloan? Meredith said flabbergasted.

"The one and only," Amelia nodded "You slept with my brother so he is off limits!" Amelia warned semi seriously.

Amelia and Meredith had a bond that not many people around the hospital could understand. Amelia and Addison had never really hit it off but they were getting there and tried for Payten's sake. Meredith just understood Amelia, she wasn't like Christina. She was sensitive and expressed her emotions so opposite attraction maybe? Whatever it was, they had clicked and were good friends despite her brother's dismay towards the friendship. Along with Meredith came Alex, and they were their own little trio. Amelia had finally found her place and she loved it.

Meredith held her hands up in fake surrender, "Sorry I thought you were with Owen," Meredith teased.

"I am with Owen! Mark is like my brother," Amelia hissed.

"You are such a liar, you've tapped that," Alex stated plainly.

Meredith gave Amelia the know it all look and Amelia admitted to sleeping with Mark once a very long time ago.

"So I met your sister, she seemed.. nice," Amelia said before taking a bite of her tuna wrap.

"She is not my sister.. I would remember if my mother was pregnant wouldn't I?" Meredith asked her friends who both shrugged.

"I don't know Mer, I can't remember much about my childhood. Would you really remember your mom being pregnant if you were like 3?" Alex shrugged.

"Plus what would she gain now? Your mom is dead," Amelia whispered.

Meredith thought about it for a second, "You guys are right, c'mon Alex. Let's go find my mothers medical files," Meredith said standing up abruptly.

"Hey, i'm eating!" Alex moaned as Meredith dragged him from the table.

"Good luck!" Amelia called out after chuckling at how ridiculous the pair looked.

Just as Amelia was about to grab her things and head down to the pit for the incoming traumas, Derek approached her and sat down in the seat opposite her letting out a sigh,

"You look like crap," Amelia stated the obvious. He really did look bad though.

"I haven't slept in my bed for two weeks," Derek grunted.

"And who's fault is that?" She questioned.

"Mine I guess. I don't know who I am anymore. Not anybody I ever thought I'd be. I try and make the right choices for Addison, Payten, you. And, um... I'm angry all the time. I'm miserable, and I don't know what to do with it. All I do is hurt people. The last people I want to hurt, and I just... I just can't get control of it. I don't know what to do anymore." Derek confessed.

"I know how you feel. We call it rock bottom." Amelia said empathetically.

"So, what now?" Derek asked almost scared to know the answer.

"Now we fish," Amelia stated plainly.

"We fish?" Derek sounded confused,

"Back to basics. It's about the little things that make us happy first. Learning to love your life again." Amelia said before pulling Derek into a hug.

For the first time in weeks, Derek felt relieved. He had spilled his truth, and was going to get help. "Thank you," he whispered into Amelia's ear. When had his baby sister become so wise? He really only needed his family in his life to be able to go on each day, but he realised that it was ok not to be ok sometimes.

Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to leave a review!


	9. Chapter 13

**Hey guys! So finally finished this chapter and I have honestly been working on it since I posted the last one but I had to re-write it just to tie up some of last chapters loose ends and i didn't like the way I had originally written this chapter so sorry for taking so long. I have a fair idea where i want things to go next but i'm always open to your ideas so just leave a review and i will see what i can do. Also thank you for all the reviews on my last chapter! You are all so kind and I'm glad you enjoy the story. One last thing, I do use some situations and conversation with twists of my own from the show. It kinda gives my storylines support and sticks to the shows storylines also. I hope you enjoy this chapter, Have a great weekend.**

 **Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

As Amelia and Derek geared up to head down to the lake on the property that Derek owned but never used. Derek decided to make the rule of absolutely no talking; Amelia solemnly agreed which they both knew would be a challenge for her. Making their way down with camping packs on their backs, they decided to pitch their tents before setting up their fishing lines. Since Amelia tried and failed at pitching her own tent; Derek did the both of theirs. The lake looked stunning. The leaves were a vibrant green, the water was crystal clear and the wind breezed through effortlessly. A perfect day, Derek thought to himself. While Derek was caught in his serene thoughts however, Amelia was swatting bugs away from her face and cursing at the rocks that had tripped her up.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Derek said in awe.

"I don't know what just bite me. but my ankle is starting to tingle," Amelia let out casually.

"Embrace it, Amy!" Derek smiled clearly in his element.

The pair baited their rods and looked for a good spot to start fishing, they cast their lines and sat in their lawn chairs. Derek had a beer in one hand and Amelia had a can of soda in hers. The two sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Amelia broke the one and only rule.

"I know you said no talking but ugh... where are we going to go toilet?" Amelia said looking around realizing it was only them and the bush.

Derek let out a short sigh, this was going to be a long day if she couldn't be silent for 5 minutes. "You can go anywhere you like," Derek teased.

Amelia's jaw dropped, was he being serious? "And get poison oak? Nuh uh!"

Derek let out a soft chuckle, "The trailer is parked at the entrance of the land. Just let me know when you need to go."

Amelia sighed in relief that she wouldn't need to pop a squat behind a tree and clean herself with a leaf.

"Anything else?" Derek sighed again just wanting peace and silence.

"Nope," Amelia said surely.

"Ok then," Derek said turning his attention back to the water.

A few more minutes passed before Amelia thought of something else that was on her mind, "Actually…"

Back at the Shepherd residence, Payten was eagerly packing her suitcase. Her mother had finally allowed her to take a break and go stay with her grandmother and aunts back in New York. Even if it was only for 5 days, Payten couldn't stop grinning. She loved and missed her family, especially her grandmother who had always been there for her when they all lived in New York. When both of her parents had surgeries, when they were fighting or even when they just needed a babysitter; Payten would be with Carolyn and they would do everything together. Of course, as Payten grew up and moved to Seattle it wasn't as simple to be with her and during her drug binge; Payten wasn't talking to anyone. Now she was ready to be the old Payten again and she couldn't wait. Her only trouble was leaving Josh alone. He wasn't able to get time off work so he would have to stay behind. It was only 5 days alone, but it was 5 days alone without her. She knew deep down that she was the only thing keeping him sober. Her and the baby. She was just scared that he may slip up when she was gone.

"Mom, can I ask you a favor?" Payten said while zipping up her suitcase.

"Sure, honey," Addison responded.

"Can you just watch Josh for me? I know it'll be hard for him when I'm not here. with the drugs.. and the alcohol. I don't think he will go out looking for them or anything but if he's offered when I'm not around… I dunno.. all I'm saying is he's an addict, I just don't want him to go back down that path again," Payten said becoming increasingly distressed at the thought of using again.

"Ok, P. Calm down. Don't work yourself about things until they happen. I'm sure Josh wouldn't do anything again, But.." Addison said before Payten interrupted.

"Mom, he is addicted to drugs! Who knows when he will slip up, but he most likely will. eventually," Payten rambled.

"Payten, what I was going to say was. But I will keep an eye and an ear out ok?" Addison said trying to give her daughter a slight peace of mind.

Payten let out a huff, "Thanks, Ma," she said leaning her head on her mother's shoulder. Addison placed a hand on her daughter's face and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you, Payten." She said to the girl after a couple minutes of sitting in a comfortable silence.

"Gross," Payten said before laughing at her own attempt to sound like a normal teenager. "Just kidding, I love you too." Payten quipped before her mother swatted her arm gently.

"Brat," Addison joked before the two broke out in giggles.

Addison dropped Payten off at the airport and by the time she arrived home, Derek's Porsche was in the driveway. Confused, Addison opened the door to hear loud chuckles coming from the living room.

"I can't believe. you.. fell in the water," Amelia said trying to laugh and talk at the same time.

"Maybe if you hadn't needed to pee every 10 minutes! I wouldn't have had to get out of my chair!" Derek cackled back as tears from laughing so hard-filled his eyes.

The two just sat like that trying to calm themselves down before the other would make a gesture to imitate the other and they would burst out laughing again. Addison just stood at the doorway of the living room watching the siblings. She hadn't seen Derek laugh like that in months. Making her presence aware Addison stepped into the room.

"You guys are home early," Addison announced giving Amelia and Derek both a fright.

Their chuckles stopped and Derek turned his head away from her. Amelia noticed Derek's body language dramatically change and so spoke for the both of them explaining why they had ditched the fishing so early.

"Yeah, I don't think we were gonna catch anything today," Amelia said in her honest opinion.

Derek huffed, "No. you, weren't going to catch anything today," Amelia instantly swatted his arm playfully before they both broke out in laughter again.

Thank god he was happy, Addison thought to herself. "Well, I'll leave you to it," Addison mumbled before turning to leave the room. She wasn't angry, and since she and Derek weren't talking, she didn't feel like being the elephant in the room and so thought she might go make herself useful.

Amelia went to call out to Addison before she left but Derek stopped her, "Don't. I'll talk to her," Derek said before getting up off the couch followed by Amelia.

"I should get going then," Amelia said gently trying to avoid any drama.

"Ok. Thank you for today," Derek smiled genuinely before pulling Amelia into what was supposed to be a quick hug but turned into a "who could squeeze the hardest competition". After a few good minutes, the two separated each having a few wet tears on their cheeks.

"You know I'm always here for you, right?" Amelia said to Derek.

Letting out a sigh Derek rocked on his feet, "I should be the one being there for you,"

"I'm sure I'll mess up and need you again soon, I am a bottomless pit when it comes to problems," Amelia joked.

Derek frowned and placed his hand gently on his sister's shoulder, "That isn't true, Amei."

Amelia laughed slightly because no matter what anybody told her she would always believe she was too messed up to be like all the other "normal" people around her. "I'll see you in the morning ok? Call if you need anything." She said before leaving Derek in the living room alone.

Derek took a deep breath and straightened himself up before silently making his way towards the master bedroom where Addison was resting. Entering the room, Addison was sitting on their bed reading a medical journal intently. She pretended that she hadn't heard Derek and didn't remove her eyes from her reading until Derek let out of small sigh and sat at the bottom of their bed. Taking her glasses off and propping herself up a little, she waited for Derek to start the conversation.

After a couple of minutes, Derek huffed in frustration of not knowing how to say what he wanted. "Payten's gone already?" Is all he could muster before standing up and walking towards the dresser to get changed.

Addison sighed, "Yup," She said irritated that he didn't want to talk about their problems yet.

Pulling his stuff out of the dresser Derek went to shower in their ensuite bathroom, Addison left by herself again with her husband only speaking 3 words to her broke down in tears. She didn't understand why he was treating her like this, one minute they are at the happiest time of their marriage and the next he won't even make eye contact with her. And she had no idea why. Was it Mark? Or the baby? Breaking down for the first time, Addison was struggling to breathe. Panting and gasping for air, her vision started to go blurry. Derek hearing the outburst from the shower immediately shut the water off and wrapped a towel around his waist.

Entering their room again, Derek found Addison bent over their mattress gripping the headboard of the king-size bed they shared. Derek frantically ran to her side and sat her down properly, "Addison. Calm down! You are having a panic attack you need to take some deep breaths ok?"

Addison was trying to control her body but just couldn't get control of the attack, "C'mon Addie," Derek said grabbing her hand while his other one rubbed her back, "Breath in…. And out," He demonstrated as she copied him. "That's good and again," He said while her breath finally started to regulate.

After a couple minutes of doing the breathing technique, Addison felt a lot better and fell onto Derek's shoulder. Derek felt bad that his body instantly stiffened to her touch and he knew that she felt it. Sitting up awkwardly she wiped her tears and fixed her hair.

"I'm sorry," Addison whispered deeply disappointed that her husband wasn't comfortable being intimate with her anymore.

"Addie, It's not you. It's not anyone actually it's me. I don't want to talk about it right now but just know... it's not you." Derek confessed sounding empty.

Addison hadn't seen him like this since he lost his pregnant patient. She had been so wrapped up in the fact that it was something that she had done that she hadn't realized that he was in a deep depression. She was a doctor, depression recurrence happened 50% of the time for someone who has previously battled it. How did she not notice it before now?

"It's depression, isn't it? Why didn't you come to me, Derek? I could've helped you." Addison cried silently as he stared at the ground.

"I didn't know myself what was wrong with me. But I am getting help this time. Amelia.. She's helping me. Just please give me some time." Derek confessed as Addison squeezed his hand gently. Derek got up off the bed and headed towards the door.

"I love you, Derek Christopher Shepherd," Addison said before he could leave. He stopped to acknowledge that he had heard her and then continued out the door.

 _When we were happy, we woke up smiling, Laughing at the morning, kicking our feet._

 _When we were starting the plans we were making, Were rich and endless, we were rich and endless. I can't tell you where we went wrong. I'm just sad all the time, sad all the time._

Payten slept through the majority of the plane ride from Seattle to New York. It was a 6-hour flight and with the pregnancy wearing her down, there was no way she could've stayed awake for that long. Once the plane had safely landed, Payten collected her belongings and made her way through the airport customs. After an hour of going through security, Payten had made it out and spotted her Grandmother and Aunt Liz waiting patiently in the airport lounge. She exhaled, relieved that she had made it unscathed. She made her way towards her evidently overjoyed relatives and they both rushed to hug her at the same time. After the group embrace, they all took a couple steps back with Carolynn giving her a long once-over.

"You look beautiful!" Carolyn exclaimed happily brushing her granddaughter's arm gently.

Liz nodded along with her mother, "You are definitely glowing Payten,"

Payten shyly tucked a piece of loose hair behind her ear. She felt a little awkward being the center of attention and didn't want to draw any more attention to herself. She mumbled a quiet thank you and picked up the bags she had let fall to the ground during the hugging session.

Liz quickly took the bags off Payten's hands and lead the way out off the airport. Carolyn wrapped one arm around Payten and the two chit-chatted as they followed Liz. The trio had arranged a family dinner at Carolyn's, inviting all of her aunts, uncles, and cousins. Payten had decided she would spend her first night in NYC with her grandmother and then spend the rest of her time house hopping between her 3 aunts.

As they arrived at the family homestead, it had seemed that the gathering had already started as the driveway was packed full of cars and the distant sound of children's laughter filled the air. Payten was extremely excited to see her family but had an inkling of nervousness in fear that they might judge her for being pregnant so young. Her aunts had never really treated her poorly but they did make snarky comments to her mother and her aunt Amelia often.

Entering the family home, the Shepherd's filled the entire living room as did their laughter. This felt so right to Payten, growing up an only child with two full-time parents who were constantly working, she wasn't used to anything but silence in her household. As the group realized the trio had arrived, everyone yelled Payten's name in unison as her aunts, Nancy and Kathleen ran towards her for a group hug.

Once the three women released their grip on Payten, Nancy placed both hands on her very swollen belly, "How far along are you?" She asked intrigued.

"21 weeks," Payten shared proudly resting her hand on her bump. Nancy just nodded her head and smiled genuinely.

"Wow.. congratulations on the first great-grandchild," Kathleen said while nudging her mother and laughing.

Carolyn rolled her eyes at Kathleen's malicious sounding comment. "Why don't we get you settled into your room honey," She said pulling Payten away before an altercation could occur. Payten didn't resist and followed her grandmother up the stairs and into Amelia's old room where she would sleep.

"And Amei said Nancy was the bitch," Payten huffed dropping her bags on the bed.

"Nevermind what Kathleen thinks, she isn't living your life sweetie. She can mind her own business," Carolyn empathized.

"I guess you're right." Payten agreed but was pissed deep down that she couldn't put Kathleen in her place without making herself look like a defensive rebellious teen.

"I am right. No guessing about it," Carolyn said trying to lift the girl's mood to no avail.

"Do you mind if I have a minute?" Payten asked flatly.

"Of course not but don't take too long, dinners almost ready," Carolyn said before leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.

Finally having some space Payten immediately pulled out her phone and rang Amelia,

" _Hello," Amelia answered happily "How's visiting the loony side of the family going?"_

" _Kathleen's a bitch. I need you here, can you please come!" Payten whispered harshly._

" _Tsk tsk. What'd I tell you P?" Amelia said jokingly._

" _Ok, you were right, I was wrong. Can you come?!" She begged._

" _As much fun as it sounds, no can do kid. I have to run the neuro department. Your dad is supposed to be taking a few days leave. If he actually takes though is another story," Amelia rambled to her niece._

" _Ugh, how did you live in here?" Payten said as her eyes panned around the room, "I'm staying in your room by the way."_

" _I have no clue but look behind the white dresser in the corner. In case they drive you a little too far up the wall," Amelia quipped._

" _Oh my god Amei!" Payten exclaimed loudly pulling out 100 small bags of earplugs._

" _You'll need them trust me! Thin walls and loud mouths!" Amelia shared honestly._

 _Payten laughed and heard her name being called from down the stairs, "I gotta go but I'll call tomorrow ok?"_

" _Sure thing, And tell Kathleen to keep her unwanted opinions to herself!" Amelia said sternly._

" _I will and hey, can you keep an eye out on Josh for me?" Payten said before hearing multiple voices calling out for her._

" _Alright, what am I looking for?" Amelia asked._

" _Shoot. Can't explain, ask mom. Love you. Bye!" Payten said disconnecting the line before her family barraged through the door._

Just as the line went dead, Liz had entered the room without knocking. "Dinner time!" She sang happily to which Payten smiled politely and subtly encouraged her out of the room towing behind. She really wasn't excited for this dinner since Kathleen hadn't sounded very supportive of her from the get go. So, she thought. This will be interesting.

Turning to face Owen in their shared bed, Amelia brushed a hand over his cheek gently and he let out a soft sigh of pleasure. He took her hand into his own and placed soft kisses all over it. Amelia couldn't shake the feeling of desperately needing to tell him about her past.

"Was that Payten on the phone?" He asked her while his kisses went from her hand up her arm.

"Yeah.. you'd think as they got older and more mature they would stop making the people around them feel like crap," Amelia said letting out an audible breath.

"Your sister's?" Owen asked assumed.

"Yes," She groaned rolling onto her side away from Owen.

"You know you can tell me anything?" He said softly.

"I know," She let out quietly feeling emotional.

"Okay. Night," Owen concluded picking up his book from the bedside table.

"There was this man I loved very much. And we loved taking drugs together, and one night we took a lot. And the next morning I woke up, and he had O.D.'d and aspirated on his vomit and died," Amelia confessed sniffling, "See I told you it was bad."

Owen took a minute to interpret what Amelia had just told him before sharing his own truth, "I once, um I once choked Cristina. I-I didn't mean to, but, uh, I was asleep. I had this ceiling fan. And in my head, the blades, it was In my head, it was a helicopter. And I thought I was back there. And I woke up, and I was choking her."

Turning to face Owen, Amelia rolled over, "We're ok right?"

"We're ok," Owen smiled sweetly.

"And our kids will be ok?" Amelia asked holding back tears.

"Our kids will be amazing," Owen confirmed.

"They will. I can't wait," She smiled.

"So let's not then. Let's not wait." Owen grinned pushing Amelia back onto her side of the bed and kissing her passionately.

The Seattle wind wisped around Addison's shuddering body as she banged on Derek's trailer door. The woods gave her the creeps and she could swear she heard a distant howl. It was pitch black out and the sky was filled with stars that you would never see the closer to the city you got. Derek had spent the past 2 nights in the trailer and although she had promised him space, was ready to burn the thing down to get him out and have him back in her bed. It was ridiculous she thought to herself. She was understanding sure, but this was past the point of absurd.

"Derek! Please open this goddamn door!" She demanded with no response. Just before she went to bang on the door again; it was pulled open from the other side by someone who was not her husband.

"Addison?" Owen asked groggily.

"Owen? What are you doing here? Where's Derek?" She blurted out frustrated.

"I have no idea? I've been staying here for like 3 months." Owen said confused.

"Goddammit. He told me he'd be staying here for a few days.." Addison stressed.

Amelia appeared at the door disorientated, "Addison?"

"Have you seen Derek?" She uttered.

"Not since last night, he had an incoming TBI when I was leaving. Maybe he crashed there after surgery." Amelia suggested, "What time is it?"

"Almost 5 am," Owen replied.

"I'll come in and look for him with you," Amelia said before leaving the doorway to get ready.

"Sorry about coming here and waking you up," Addison said sounding upset.

"Don't worry 'bout it," Owen replied sincerely, "I hope you find him and work everything out."

"Ready! I'll catch you later," Amelia interrupt, giving Owen a kiss goodbye and leading the way to the car.

Thanks," Addison nodded to Owen before following Amelia out.

As the pair drove to the hospital, Amelia mentioned to Addison the conversation she had with Payten. She wanted to know why Payten had asked her to look out for Josh and what Addison could explain. Addison was distracted by a million other thoughts and briefly explained that she was worried Josh would use while she was away. This explanation wasn't good enough for Amelia as she began to ask questions that she didn't know the answers to herself.

"What was Josh's drug of choice?" Amelia asked her.

"I have no idea," Addison admitted.

"Do you know if he got sober before going to jail?" She questioned her.

"I never asked," Addison replied annoyed

"Have you seen him lately?" Amelia interrogated her.

"I saw him yesterday," Addison sighed irritated by Amelia's constant nagging.

"How did he seem?" Amelia frowned.

"He seemed fine, Amelia," She replied starting to become angry with Amelia's persistence.

"Are you sure? This is important to Payten, you know. He didn't seem skittish or… overly tired?" Amelia said not realizing Addison's obvious displeasure.

Pulling into the hospital parking lot and ignoring Amelia's question, Addison made her way quickly towards the hospital's entrance; Amelia followed suit mad that Addison had blatantly ignored her.

"Why are you shutting me out of this?" Amelia asked Addison cornering her as soon as they entered the hospital.

"Because this does not concern you," Addison said angrily.

"But it concerns you?" Amelia scoffed.

"No, it doesn't. I made a promise that I would help him keep his head above water." Addison explained.

"Promise to who?" Amelia said grilling Addison.

"To Payten. So I am watching him, and I am letting him be, and I am not sticking my nose…" Addison tried to speak before Amelia interrupted.

"Why would Payten entrust you to deal with it? You know nothing about addiction," Amelia said honestly.

"Well, she mustn't trust you very much if she didn't come to you first. Plus I have help from Charlotte King," Addison criticized.

"God. Addison, you are the most loyal person I have ever met to everyone except me. You would rather get help from some woman halfway across the country…" Amelia let out frustrated.

"Yes, I would." Addison agreed.

"...When I am right here. I'm here. I'm your sister." Amelia yelled back.

"You are not my sister. You are Derek's sister." She hissed.

"Dr. Montgomery Shepherd, I changed the mediastinal drains…" An intern said interrupting

"Walk away!" Amelia screamed, "Is that why you hate me? 'Cause he is always there for me? Does it help you to hate me because you know you can't be there for him like I can? You are such a child; You wrap him around your little finger and just expect him to put up with it. You say you understand his needs but that is crap; You love the attention of looking like the poor wife who has to put up with her husband's depression. You are hollow. And Derek would be sick if he could see how you are acting right now. He would be disgusted," Amelia said releasing all of her built up anger towards Addison.

"Don't come near my house again." Addison spat back.

"Done!" Amelia agreed.

I love you but I don't trust you. I miss you, I can't need you anymore. I want you, but I want you to be happy. The way we were happy, when we were happy.

Barging into the last on-call room in the hospital that she hadn't checked, Addison immediately flicked the light switch on and let out a heavy sigh of relief when she saw the figure of the man she knew best on the bottom bunk; Thankful to see him but also seething with anger that he lied about where he had been and all the other crap that she had been through recently. She slid down the door to get a few minutes of peace; watching her husband sleep for the first time in weeks.

The rise and fall of his chest were even and watching it intently quickly put her into a lull. she drifted off to sleep without realizing it. She didn't know how long she was out but she felt herself being lifted from the floor and onto the bed then the weight of Derek's body beside her. Cracking one eye open, Addison smiled softly to see that he was watching her rest; Without any warning, Derek started furiously kissing Addison's soft lips.

In need of his touch, she immediately pulled his top over his head as he pulled hers off. In brief swift movements, the pair of them were completely naked and their passion for each other was palpable. Derek sensually caressed her body as Addison took in the scent of his hair while kissing his face then neck; continuing down his chest slowly which she knew drove him mad. They made love for the first time in over a month and as they both laid restless in each other's arms remembered what it felt like to be held by their soulmate.

"I love you," Derek said sincerely.

"I love you too," Addison said snuggling further into his chest as he held her tight.

 _When we were happy, like how these pictures show. You were smiling at me, like I'd won the war but the war moved in, bedroom and the kitchen and the door started slamming. The silence roared, I can't tell you where we went wrong. But I'm not angry anymore, I'm not angry anymore, no. I can tell you I won't come running. If you knock on my door but don't knock on my door._


End file.
